The Premier League Thread

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I particularly liked this one:

Scene – Big Scam’s office in the bowels of Goodison Park. A scene of unrest is carrying out in the stadium above.

Big Fat Scam: We’re in lads, fill your boots!

Snakespear: Yessssssss bosssssssss. How do we sssssave them from relegation?

Big Fat Scam: Big lad up front, Get the defenders to understand what being in a line means and racyhoofing it up every chance we get. You know the usual.

Sammy Lee: I might be a rat faced kopite scoundrel who smells of wee, but did no one tell them that they aren’t in the relegation zone, and they’re in the same league as Palace, West Brom, Swansea, Stoke, Huddersfield and so on?

Big Fat Scam: You’re a funny guy Sammy. Keep that zipped. Take the bag of cash I give you each week and say nowt to the board or the tax man.

Sammy Lee: Righto gaffer.

Snakespear: But how will we sssstay here once they are ssssure they are ssssafe?

Big Fat Scam: That’s the joy Craigy baby. They sack us at the end of the season. Big pay off, and we’re off to the beach for a pint of sangria with our breakfast.

Sammy Lee: But what about long term gaffer?

Big Fat Scam: We get in some overpaid mercenaries, on big money contracts way past their sell by dates, so that in 2 seasons time, they have to call us back in to dig Simeone out of the gravy. Ummmm gravy.

Snakespear: Wasssssh, Rinssssse and Repeat Bosssssssss?

Big Fat Scam: You got it Craigy, by the way have you seen that Elstone? Phil Brown’s long lost brother right?

Guffaws from the thieves lair drown out the boos from the stadium above.


Scene 2 – The boardroom

Moshiri: Have we done the right thing Bill?

Bill: I don’t know. Walshy slap some more lotion on Suntan Bob before he burns under that lamp.
 
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Saintmagic said:
My old housemate is an Everton season ticket holder and just sent me a video of him throwing his season ticket away :D

The meltdown is strong
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Can someone remind me if we ever end up with a "warchest" and are tempted to brag how we're going to "rip up this league" not to do the merseyside willy waving thing.
They really did get rather overexcited poor loves.

Big Sam ffs, BFS.
 
See there was sadly some real trouble at the Brighton game yesterday....ridiculous. Apparently started by Palace fans...probably trying to get in without tickets. A Palace fan said it was exacerbated by Brighton shutting the doors....he has obviously forgotten Hillsborough....can't blame Brighton for that. The only people to blame are those that bring fireworks and weapons into a crowded zone like a football game.
 
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Loving Unsworth's next (and final) attempt at patching up that Everton defence. Tough call as to whether it looks even worse than what finished against us.
 
Sanches hauled off at HT by Swansea. Not for the first time. Given the hype he was signed with, he's been a total disaster. Not quite replaced Siggy!
 
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The Liebherr Legacy said:
Be interesting to see how Poch responds now. Arguably the first mini crisis he's had to face in England.
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Arguably the second crisis. The first was when we gave up our ambition of being a top european club and got rid of our chairman.

...Hopefully he responds the same way this time.
 
st_brendy said:
Sanches hauled off at HT by Swansea. Not for the first time. Given the hype he was signed with, he's been a total disaster. Not quite replaced Siggy!
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I think I'm ready to say Swansea are down. Bony isn't going to do anything either.
 
Qwerty said:
I think I'm ready to say Swansea are down. Bony isn't going to do anything either.
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At present they are. But if they get Pulis in the door prior to January, there's enough rubbish around for Tony to pull them over. From tika-taka to Tony.
 
HarryTipper said:
4-0 now to Everton.
Moyes has got a really tough run in too, this was probably their best bet for some points before Christmas.
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They couldn't keep up with Rooney's running. Have fun against Sane at the weekend, Hammers.

(I'm presuming they'll throw more millions at it, come January. Such is their ilk.)
 
st_brendy said:
They couldn't keep up with Rooney's running. Have fun against Sane at the weekend, Hammers.

(I'm presuming they'll throw more millions at it, come January. Such is their ilk.)
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They'll have to spend big just to have a chance at staying up.
Quite how Hart is still England no.1 is beyond me, he's been poor all season and not that great the previous two either.
Their only possible saving grace is that they have decent attackers.
 
HarryTipper said:
They'll have to spend big just to have a chance at staying up.
Quite how Hart is still England no.1 is beyond me, he's been poor all season and not that great the previous two either.
Their only possible saving grace is that they have decent attackers.
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Alas, I suspect they will (spend big). That's not to say that they'll sign quality, but I highly doubt they'll keep their purses closed.

Adrian gets a chance this weekend, with Hart ineligible. Needs to replicate Fraser's performance from tonight.
 
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