Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

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kiwiqpr said:
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Lies! That's usually the most common time my wife starts an argument. "Don't use windex on the floor" why the heck not, the blue comes out, it cleans up the mess stuck there nicely, it doesn't stain the carpet blue like she worries.
 
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I made my morning coffee today with Red Bull instead of water...

I was half way to work before I realized that I'd forgotten my car.
 
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I got a lift to the sixteenth floor, and as I got out, the operator said, "Have a good day, son."

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad!"

He said: “No, but I brought you up, didn't I?".
 
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