Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD
- Thread starter Garlic Klopp
- Start date
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I'm so poor my mate lets me eat from his herb garden.....
I'm living on borrowed thyme
I'm living on borrowed thyme
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "Did you hear about that outbreak of mad cow disease? It makes cows go completely insane!". The other cow replies "Good thing I'm a helicopter".
Somebody stole my microsoft office and they're going to pay - you have my Word.
I once told an inappropriate joke at an Alopecia convention. Luckily it didn’t raise any eyebrows.
If London had their own space agency, would the astronauts be saying "Euston we have a problem"
A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
Finally, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow..?”
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
Finally, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked,
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow..?”
Paddy gets stopped towing a horsebox on the motorway.
Police ask him "Where are you going sir?"
Paddy says "I'm taking these horses to the races"
"But your box is empty sir!" says the policeman.
"I know" says Paddy, "I'm taking the non-runners first!!!!"
Police ask him "Where are you going sir?"
Paddy says "I'm taking these horses to the races"
"But your box is empty sir!" says the policeman.
"I know" says Paddy, "I'm taking the non-runners first!!!!"
Good to see life guards back on the beaches
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