Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

[Garlic Klopp]

A friend of mine is a Gyneacologist, and has just hit retirement age. He said he is going to just work one day a month from now on as he likes to keep his hand in.

As he had some time on his hands he decorated his hall...through the letter box!

 

[Garlic Klopp]

The same Gyneacologist friend said as he is doing less hours he is going to join Facebook and Friends Reunited because he wants to look up some old girlfriends

 

[Christ's Chin]

Did any of you know that Danny Welbeck's dad is a bomb disposal expert? He's called Stan.

 

[Red Hadron Collider]

Did any of you know that Danny Welbeck's dad is a bomb disposal expert? He's called Stan.

FFS

 

[Red Hadron Collider]

Giving Juan Mata to David Moyes is the same as giving an i-phone to your gran.

 

[Super G Ted'inho]

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe...?




Roberto!

 

[cally800]

The same gynaecologist was giving a lesbian a check up and casually mentioned how clean she was - she replied
" I should be, I have a woman come 3 times a week!"

 

[Christ's Chin]

How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan.

 

[Redbrynner]

What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony

 

[Redbrynner]

A guy just stopped me in the street and said i reminded him of Stevie Wonder.

I told him i couldnt see it

 

[Christ's Chin]

I bought a lovely watercolour painting by some guy called Claude for a mere 75p the other day - it was great value for Monet!

 

[HugoEkitikeN01]

"Toure, if I forgive you a red card for your foul what would you say"?(Ref: Phil Dowd )

 

[Super G Ted'inho]

How many Spaniards does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan.

Surely it doesn't Mata

 

[viceverse]

Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.

 

[CCC]

Some people insist saliva is the best lubricant for anal sex. It isn't ... Blood is!

 

[Super G Ted'inho]

Some people insist saliva is the best lubricant for anal sex. It isn't ... Blood is!

I see you are being converted to the Notts ways

 

[viceverse]

You know where Rooney got the hair from? Off his wifes pussy. Doctor said it would be easier to transfer it from one **** to another

 

[Milk not bear jizz]

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe...?




Roberto!

Never heard that one before.

 

[CCC]

Q: What does the 'B' stand for in Benoit B. Mandelbrot?
A: Benoit B. Mandelbrot.

You must log in or register to see images

You must log in or register to see images

 

[HugoEkitikeN01]

Never heard that one before.

Dead man walking...