Off Topic The 'Like' Brothel

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'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl.'
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?''Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.''Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?''I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed.''Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.' The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped,
and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to
atone. You cannot be an altar boy now
for 4 months. Now you go and
behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get ?' 'Four months holiday and five good leads...'
 
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Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, 'And you are no
good in bed either,' and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and
decides to make amends and rings her up.

She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, 'What took you so long to answer the phone?'
She says, 'I was in bed.'

'In bed this early, doing what?'

'Getting a second opinion!'
 
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A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, I can’t come in today, I’m sick. He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, I can’t come in today, I’m sick.The boss asks the foreman about him and he replies, He’s great. He does the work of two men. We need him.So the next day the boss calls the guy into his office and says, You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You’re a good worker and I’d hate to fire you. What’s the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?”

The guy replies, “No I don’t drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks heavily every weekend, then beats up my sister. So every Monday morning I go over to make sure she’s alright.
She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another,
and the next thing you know I’m ****ing her.”

The boss says, “You **** your sister?”

The guy replies, “Hey, I told you I was sick.”
 
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A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
wife,' Mother of Six' in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it IS time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, 'Shall we go home Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
shouts right back, 'Any time you're ready, Father of Four.'
 
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