The Hornet's Nest

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just to lighten the mood


Wonderful English
from Around the World
>
>
> In a Bangkok Temple :
> IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
>
> Cocktail lounge , Norway :
> LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
>
> Doctor's office, Rome :
> SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
>
> Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
> DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
>
> In a Nairobi restaurant:
> CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
>
> On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
> TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
>
> On a poster at Kencom:
> ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
>
> In a City restaurant:
> OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
>
> In a Cemetery:
> PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .
>
> Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
> GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
>
> On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:
> OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
>
> In a Tokyo Bar:
> SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
>
> Hotel , Yugoslavia :
> THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
> Hotel , Japan :
> YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
>
> In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:
> YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.
>
> A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
> IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
>
> Hotel, Zurich :
> BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.
>
> Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
> WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
>
> Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
> WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. (Just Like British Airways !!! )
>
> A Laundry in Rome :
> LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
>
 
I have no idea of some of these things. The things I know are here.

> 2. Coffee shops with juke boxes
> 5. Newsreels before the movie
> 8. 33 rpm records
> 9. 45 RPM records
> 12. Metal ice trays with levers
> 13. Blue flashbulb
> 15. Wash tub wringers
 
Rather like the name your attacking line-up thread on 606, you start to get a good idea of how old people are from the things they remember from my daughters little quiz.

There was quite a lot more to it, dealing with the way that people were brought up and how one was taught respect towards others.

During GTs chat tonight there was a section where he talked about respect. As long as he stays at the head, I will be happy. ;)
 
Morning all, is it me or has someone been playing around with the colours and background of the site? Looks very nice but though it was crashing when I first saw it.

finally into double figures with my posts. maybe one day I'll achieve member status :smile:
 
I do not like it. :( Blue is a far more restful colour and I like blue because it was the team shirt colour when I first watched Watford. ;)
 
I've had this joke for a while and still makes me smile so hoping it cheers you all up too...

To get the full effect, this should be read out aloud. You will
understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in
the Far East Economic Review:


Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye. Roon sirbees... morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?"

G: "Uh...yes...I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What?"

RS: "Ow July den?....pryed, boyud, pooched?"

G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS: "Hokey. An sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS: "An toes. July sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes?"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what "judo wan sahn
toes" means."

RS: "Toes! Toes!.... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we
bodder?"

G: "English Muffin!!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'. Fine.
Yes an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No....just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter.....just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"



G: "Excuse me?"

RS: " Copy....tea....meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder
on sigh and copy.... Rye?"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G: "You're very welcome."
 
I moved to Watford in 1961 and my first visit to Vicarage Road was about a year later as some school friends used to go - on the morning of the match I realised I did not know our colours and my brother had a book on football teams so I looked them up and went off to watch the Brewers in my blue and white bobble hat feeling very good - quite a few others were wearing blue and white too but I was surprised by how many were wearing yellow - more I thought than the home side.

Of course I found out we had changed colours and nicknames a good while earlier and it was Reading supporters who were wearing blue. I think I lost the bobble hat in double quick time :)
 
Oops, not something to try and replicate these days Lenny.

Speaking of colours, I had the blue and grey away top from a few years ago and was amazed when someone recognised it. I happened to be in Barcelona at the time and overheard "THAT'S A WATFORD TOP" as someone walked by, made my day :smile:
 
I have the date and time settings put at GMT + 1 hour as it is correct for me. You can choose in the settings what you want it to show I think.
 
They must have read my comment. It has gone back to blue.:1980_boogie_down::emoticon-0102-bigsm

I wonder if they could spare a bit of their grass?<laugh>
 
Off for a few days break tomorrow - going to west Pembroke coast for a bit of R&R :)
 
Breaking News!!! It appears that Xavier the lucky watford snowman will NOT be going to the Millwall game, It appears his next appearence will be at the sheffield game! It is unclear whether he has been injured or suspended at this time!
 
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