Stan

The cooler<doh>

Why do you wear this pathetic thing like a badge of honour?

There is no wearing of badges, Commie.

There are only the cold steel facts.

The Cooler changes a man like me. You must have noticed it?
 
With the fat gut hiding your tiny manpiece no doubt.

I've been hitting the road and the gym for the past two months, Commie. Not that I was massively overweight, before.

I'm a fairly hefty bloke to start with.

In case you're wondering... yes, I have now mastered Don Felder's solo, and I am now starting on Joe Walsh's one.
 
It's all that bullshit held within.

I doubt that it is.

Mind you, your self-loathing and pity seems to be consuming you from within, mate. You need to find a way to learn to love yourself.

You'll see the world, and the people in it, very differently. I promise you that.
 
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It's the Cooler, Commie. It does things to a man.

I'm different, now. I'm far more dull and relaxed. I seem to fit in here, now.
Same **** but with less hair and an expanding waistline.
The cooler<doh>

Why do you wear this pathetic thing like a badge of honour?
There is no wearing of badges, Commie.

There are only the cold steel facts.

The Cooler changes a man like me. You must have noticed it?
I'm sat in my underpants, learning the solos to Hotel California, Commie.

Does that count?
With the fat gut hiding your tiny manpiece no doubt.
 
I've been hitting the road and the gym for the past two months, Commie. Not that I was massively overweight, before.

I'm a fairly hefty bloke to start with.

In case you're wondering... yes, I have now mastered Don Felder's solo, and I am now starting on Joe Walsh's one.
Bent ^