Southampton limericks

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RedandWhiteManofKent

RedandWhiteManofKent

Well-Known Member
Mar 23, 2011
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Canterbury
On a dull Sunday only made better by saints great start to the season, how about a few saints related limericks for something to do, #ireallyneedtogetalife

Either about the saints or the players, here are a couple to get started but sure you can do better

There is a great team called the saints
Who's success really has no constraints
In 5 years of transitions
Climbed 67 positions
The fans can have no complaints

There was a young lad called lallana
Who thought he was a bit of a charmer
He went a bit weird
Grew a twatty beard
Will hopefully end up in a fight with wanyama
 
There was a Dutch legend called Koeman
Who when he played was superhuman
He is now the Saints Boss
And we rarely suffer a loss
So when Poch is mentioned, we say "who?, man".

#ineedalifetoo
 
There once was a Saints fan called Fran
Who wrote to a certain Dutchman
She asked for Fonte
Who said, No way, Jose
And she died an embittered wo-man.


P.s. Necessary to not use the Portuguese pronunciation of Fonte #nopedantshere
 
There was a Saints player called Vic
who when playing never missed a kick
built like a tank
he made the opposition look rank
by always giving them stick
 
There was a Saints boss called Poch,
Who was given a spectacular watch.
But he went a bit funny,
When Spurs flashed the money,
A job he'll undoubtedly botch.
 
There was a young lady called Fran,
Who liked the idea of a man.
She bought a nice rosé,
Invited round José,
And now he's locked in her van.
 
I have tried to do one to inclued all the managers (not caretakers) since I have been a Saints fan. I don't think this is the best and can probably be improved with your help but here goes

When i started supporting Saints we had Lawrie Mac
Then Chris Nicholl who got then sack
Then it was Branfoot who was a prat
who poorly treated our Matt
Then came Bally a Matty fan
who told the players "Give the ball to this man"
Then came Merrington for a season
Then Souness who left for some reason
Then Jones was appointed by Lowe
but due to false allegations had to go
Then Hoddle called it a day
so he was replaced by Gray
But Gray could not make it happen
so he was replaced by Strachan
Strachan was a funny man
Then came Sturrock Who was given the can
Then Wigley left us in the crap
which continued under Redknapp
When Redknapp left we got Burley
But when Scotland called he went early
Pearson came and saved us from the drop
and his reward he was given the chop
Poortvliet had to do it with kids
whilst Saints tried to save the quids
with wotte it was still frustration
then administation and relegation
Pardew came and won us a Cup
Then Adkins took us up
Then he took us up again
Then Poch took over the Reigns
Poch has now moved on
and we are looking great under Ron
He has come and eased our fears
and I hope he is here for years
 
Saints signed this big handsome fella
Called Graziano Pelle
He scored at will
He cost just 8 mill
And now we're all in 2nd heaven
 
Right..! You said get involved, StMarv, so I've made a few quick adjustments.

In my first years with Saints we had Lawrie Mac
In came Chris Nicholl who then got the sack
Next it was Branfoot, he was a complete prat
He sold Alan Shearer and badly treated our Matt
But Bally was said to say, 'Go on, take the piss'
When overheard at brief meetings with Mr LeTiss
He gave the other players a complicated plan
It comprised of giving the ball to our big hootered young man
Enter Dave Merrington just for a season
Replaced by Souness who left for some reason
Then Dave Jones was appointed by Rupert Lowe
But due to false allegations he still had to go
Then Hoddle entered, but soon called it a day
And so he was replaced by a young Stuart Gray
But he couldn't make anything significant happen
So he was replaced by Wee Gordon Strachan
He came for the long term, but left after two
Then came Paul Sturrock, but the games were so few.
The appointment of Wigley left us all in the crap
Which promptly continued under Harry Redknapp
When Twitcher went back to his spiritual home
Lowe got George Burley on the end of the phone
But then Scotland called so he went early
Nigel Pearson turned up, and he saved us. Barely..!
For his reward he was given the chop
Poortvliet had to do it with kids, on the hop
Whilst Saints did everything to save on the ackers
With Wotte, we knew we were totally knackered.
Then the dreaded administration and relegation came
But Liebherr and Cortese told us, 'we'll win that game'
Alan Pardew turned us around and won us a Cup
Then Nigel Adkins arrived and took us Up, and Up
MoPo was signed to take over the reins
The Lads ran around, they sweated and strained
But the players began to leave, one after another
When Lambert said goodbye, it was like losing a brother
But Chairman Ralph announced, 'they can all take a hike'
'Except that young Morgan, he's not getting on my bike'
And so it all changed within the close season
It had all been arranged for a very good reason
Saints were truly rich from the money they got
With the players they brought in they hit the jackpot
And Ronald has arrived and eased our worst fears
At last there is hope and ambition into future years.


Well that's an attempt. Don't think it'll be knocking our Norwich canary friend off his perch. Ah, now I've started punning badly instead..! :)
 
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