Self help

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Forpadydeplasterer said:
Thanks everyone for the advice so far. It really is appreciated.
I'm going to look into everything everyone has said and make a plan from there.
I'm just finding it really hard atm with the pressures of life really. The bairn, xmas, lack of sleep and structure. <laugh>
I'm not too bad, but can feel the cracks appearing in our relationship and its mainly down to me being a miserable that and when I get challenged I get defensive and aggressive, which just isn't me.
Hopefully the new year brings a fresh start
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Forpadydeplasterer said:
Sorry for the new thread lads.

I'm really struggling atm with anger issues/****ed up/what the ****? pre pubescent issues.

I've got a 1 year old and me and the wife have high pressued jobs. Its been really hard recently to juggle the 2.

I've recently took a course for a career change but that's not working atm (it might once I qualify)

Any advice would be much appreciated
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Forpadydeplasterer said:
Thanks for the advice, I like quite alot of structure in my life and walk alot when I'm in my daily routine. Christmas seems to have escalated it for the both of us as it's the usual stress and chaos that comes with it.
Hopefully the new year brings some sort of normality.
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Hugs, mate. Even if you just want to strangle her, instead give her a hug. Do you a world of good too.
 
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Forpadydeplasterer said:
Sorry for the new thread lads.

I'm really struggling atm with anger issues/****ed up/what the ****? pre pubescent issues.

I've got a 1 year old and me and the wife have high pressued jobs. Its been really hard recently to juggle the 2.

I've recently took a course for a career change but that's not working atm (it might once I qualify)

Any advice would be much appreciated
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Ive had counselling for the last 6 months mate. Private and paid by myself 60 pound for 40 minutes because if i hadnt id have probably ended up in jail or dead and i dont ever want to put my lads through either but one of them was inevitable.
 
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Bazza2310 said:
Don't need to thank me mate I did the course to help ppl
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Appreciate it mate. Im in a good place now luckily to where i was 6 months ago.
I feel like ive turned a massive corner now and know how to handle my feelings better, instead of lashing out physically and verbally and destroying my life
 
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Teessidemackem said:
Appreciate it mate. Im in a good place now luckily to where i was 6 months ago.
I feel like ive turned a massive corner now and know how to handle my feelings better, instead of lashing out physically and verbally and destroying my life
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If something doesn't feel right mate weather it's work or home just speak to someone.
 
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Bazza2310 said:
Not gonna lie like but that course was possibly one of the most difficult 2 weeks to do. Going into depth about each different way people's brains work. Can't say it's an illness either the person just needs help.
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How do you deal with repetitive dreams of bad childhood memories that stay in your head all day and cause you to be a loose cannon out of frustration?
 
Teessidemackem said:
How do you deal with repetitive dreams of bad childhood memories that stay in your head all day and cause you to be a loose cannon out of frustration?
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Councilling would be my immediate answer. Could take a while deep trauma. However therapist are amazing at what they do given time they can change how your brain works.
 
Teessidemackem said:
Yeah i was diagnosed with PTSD or whatever its called..
Ive turned the corner now and focussing on gym, work and my lads who are the sole purpose of me being here now
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You’re doing the right thing. There’s a bit in here about what to do https://www.verywellmind.com/10-ways-to-heal-from-trauma-5206940 and you’re doing some of them already. You can get a treatment for ptsd called edmr.
I also Use the wheel at the top right of this https://www.youngminds.org.uk/media/ojpon1ut/addressing-adversity-infographic-poster.pdf at work but it’s all worth a read. It’s for working with young people but transferable mostly.
I’ve been where you’ve been though, exactly as described, stuff I’ve never even told my family about. I think the more joyful experiences you have with good supportive people the easier it is to process things.
 
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Forpadydeplasterer said:
Thank you very much for the advice.
I'm not going to lie,this was the only place I could come to for advice. It's a streaming match atm.

Thank you for replying.
We're both just stressed upto the hilt.
I am quite aggressive as in "**** off man" but my wife seems to take it the wrong way
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I had a period about 15 years ago with the banking crisis..Lost nearly everything b ut there were a couple of mates and some family who were there for me and rescued my from a deep dark hole.. So much so, two of them I will stand by and give my all for them. They helped in the recovery just with support and being there to talk to and listen.... Now ,because of this I have not quite everything back, not that I want it anyway, but through a little hard work , using my head, the life ,well being and the finances are all back to where I was when it was my turn.... One tip though, never,ever trust a banker.
 
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Teessidemackem said:
This is why i love this forum so much, despite a few nob heads, and ill hold my hands up if posters think i am but i think the majority of us have a close connection and will always be there for one another. X
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We’re all nobheads sometimes, we’re all responsible to try and work hard at being be our best but also we have to be kind to ourselves. We’re often nobheads because someone else actions or a situation we can’t control made our lives hard and that’s not our fault so don’t beat yourself up
 
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I've always been somehow who has struggled to process emotions or express them, but lately I've learnt at the ripe age of 32, that you can't help yourself, if you don't allow others in to help you. No matter how big or small the issue at hand may be, there is always someone there to listen, and I don't know how it took me so long to understand that. Probably through my own stubbornness, or I don't know why I always link it to my disability, I think I do have some if not a lot of trust issues, but that's down to me to overcome that...and I guess by admitting that, that's one step walked up already.

Tell me if I am being an idiot.


P.S Bazza, you're a top man for what you're doing.
 
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