Someone has just asked Di Marzio straight on Twitter if Saints will sign Osvaldo. Doubt we will get a decent response!
No, none of it is real. The life that you believe that you have led is nothing but a dream. You are actually a one-legged Samoan woman named Lupelele who has been in a coma for roughly eight years after eating a Spam sandwich that had gone off. Football is but a figment of your subconscious; the masses in reality are entertained by televised soup cook-offs and professional stone-skipping. In a few months, as "Southampton FC" wins its 30th game of the year to "win" the "Premiership", an experimental treatment involving another spoilt Spam sandwich will cause you to sit bolt upright and reawaken.
Has anyone seen Osvaldo's career stats? Fantastic goal scoring record, yet he only averages 23 games a season. The most he's ever played was 33 games, in 2005, his first year as a professional footballer.
