Rival watch

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Okay, let's see if I can keep up with this...

Now the schizophrenics who tell us who our new gods of football are have all said as one "Guardiola? Never heard of him" as they compose intricate harpsichord symphonies regaling the audience with epic tales of the swashbuckling football that our Chelsea overlords play in the face of those barbarians who should feel honoured to be kicked, punched and elbowed throughout the match instead of be the uneducated brutes that they are as they think they have the right to retaliate.
 
We are the Spanners London Cup final, not the Goons.
Expect a Swansea-style collapse now (unless the white elephant
wind conditions are similar enough to the old Lego Towers to allow
them to play hoof-ball with Carroll) ,
 
West Ham go 2 down before deciding to bring donkey on...can see the the pornographers digging out fat Sam number
 
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