And still nobody's mentioning The Sheikh Mansour Team looking the other way for several months while he was being investigated for the first half dozen...
Barcelona have released their new kit: ****ing terrible. Looks like a knockoff Palace kit from a market stall.
Pique and Shakira have announced their separation after she saw the new Barca kit. Wait, no, that's not it. She caught him cheating. The dick. They can't keep anyone nowadays. First Messi, now Colombia's finest. No, hang on, that's something else too, isn't it?
If you ever need proof footballers are a bit dim then you have it right there. I mean cheating in general is pure filth but cheating on Shakira? Mad man. I’d do many illegal things for a night with her. I’d do questionably borderline illegal things to her as well as it goes…
Better watch the video for She-Wolf six or seven times, that'll calm the nerves before I make my move...
To be fair, he cheated on her with Jorja Smith, who is also outrageously attractive. please log in to view this image please log in to view this image Must be nice to have problems like that, hey? Two beautiful women simultaneously vying for your affection.
Vincent Kompany is facing a tough choice in his managerial career, apparently. He's wanted by both Burnley and Nice. Tough one. The French Riviera or, er... you know, not.
Dunno what you're on about, mate. Burnley has a lot of potential...... please log in to view this image .....if you want to replicate a Guantanamo Bay closer to home.