Off Topic Resignation letter

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Actually for a laugh we could turn this thread into the angry resignation letter examples:

Dear kunt chops,

I'm outta here to do my hoying else where, see yer later you bunch of mother fookers. So stick this letter up yer arse and I know who damaged your truck but i aint no grass, so fook off and die.

Comm the happy sausage muncher.

I put a sausage in all the vegetables and I pissed in all the crates and boxes... or did I? Good luck finding out mothrfckers!

I hope all your kids have short dicks, and that includes the girls.
 
You could cause a nice **** storm whilst still keeping it seemingly civil ... just put "cc [insert name of CEO/MD]" at the bottom after your Sig... and feel free to use this (No charge) <whistle>

Dear Sirs

It is with some regret and indeed deep disappointment that I feel compelled to tender my resignation from my position as junior flange monitor with [insert company name]. However, the stress I have been put under lately by the unacceptable treatment I have received from middle management has left me with no choice. I have been unjustly accused of reckless driving of a forklift vehicle without any grounds of corroboration and can only assume that I have become a scapegoat for such blatant and unjust discrimination due to being a gay Muslim man with learning disabilities. Whilst it saddens me that such practices are still rife in this day and age I feel powerless to continuing fighting against such bullying. Please therefore accept this letter as formal notice of my resignation.

Yours faithfully

Should be good for some compo and they won't dare give you a bad ref <cheers>
 
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I’ve always kept it short and sweet, pretty much as brb suggested.

The shortest and sweetest was probably when I asked a nightshift foreman at Safeway’s to let me out via the loading bays, halfway through my shift. When he said he couldn’t open up until the morning, I told him I could probably climb out the toilet windows anyway, but it was down to him if I had to smash one - and if I smashed one I might as well put em all through.

He let me out, and I didn’t go back to them for a reference. Jobs were easier to come by back then though.
<laugh>
 
You could cause a nice **** storm whilst still keeping it seemingly civil ... just put "cc [insert name of CEO/MD]" at the bottom after your Sig... and feel free to use this (No charge) <whistle>

Dear Sirs

It is with some regret and indeed deep disappointment that I feel compelled to tender my resignation from my position as junior flange monitor with [insert company name]. However, the stress I have been put under lately by the unacceptable treatment I have received from middle management has left me with no choice. I have been unjustly accused of reckless driving of a forklift vehicle without any grounds of corroboration and can only assume that I have become a scapegoat for such blatant and unjust discrimination due to being a gay Muslim man with learning disabilities. Whilst it saddens me that such practices are still rife in this day and age I feel powerless to continuing fighting against such bullying. Please therefore accept this letter as formal notice of my resignation.

Yours faithfully

Should be good for some compo and they won't dare give you a bad ref <cheers>

go to bed.
 
You could cause a nice **** storm whilst still keeping it seemingly civil ... just put "cc [insert name of CEO/MD]" at the bottom after your Sig... and feel free to use this (No charge) <whistle>

Dear Sirs

It is with some regret and indeed deep disappointment that I feel compelled to tender my resignation from my position as junior flange monitor with [insert company name]. However, the stress I have been put under lately by the unacceptable treatment I have received from middle management has left me with no choice. I have been unjustly accused of reckless driving of a forklift vehicle without any grounds of corroboration and can only assume that I have become a scapegoat for such blatant and unjust discrimination due to being a gay Muslim man with learning disabilities. Whilst it saddens me that such practices are still rife in this day and age I feel powerless to continuing fighting against such bullying. Please therefore accept this letter as formal notice of my resignation.

Yours faithfully

Should be good for some compo and they won't dare give you a bad ref <cheers>
WTF?
 
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go to bed.

Joking aside, if you feel you have been unfairly treated it might be worth making a few points in your letter... which was what I was aiming at.

Friend of ours is a partially sighted Asian female who actually stood up to bullying and walked away with £65k in compensation after it went to court.

I can also tell you that one of the very well known "companies" I worked for never goes to court, they would always try and settle, usually around the £30k mark ... the power of "Investors In People" awards ...<ok>
 
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Joking aside, if you feel you have been unfairly treated it might be worth making a few points in your letter... which was what I was aiming at.

Friend of ours is a partially sighted Asian female who actually stood up to bullying and walked away with £65k in compensation after it went to court.

I can also tell you that one of the very well know "companies" I worked for never goes to court, they would always try and settle, usually around the £30k mark ... the power of "Investors In People" awards ...<ok>

Now I know I have never actually met Comm, but i think i would have sussed by now if he was a partially sighted Asian female, who was bullied.
 
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Here you go Comm:
Dear XXXX
I would like to submit my resignation from the role of Senior Shelf Stacker and Fork Lift Operator, effective immediately. I will of course work through my notice period of X months, less remaining holiday time and would be grateful if you could confirm that my last day will be XXXXXXX.

I have enjoyed working here but as you are well aware I am ambitious. Your offer of working on the top shelves only was not really what I had in mind when I said I wanted to take my career to a higher level. I have been offered an exciting position working in a Little Chef on the design of their new late night all-day breakfast menu and am looking forward to incorporating my passion for food into my work experience.

I would like to personally thank you for the opportunity provided and wish the Company success in the future.

Yours Sincerely
Herbert Commachio

PS While I understand that you intend to promote XXXX to my position due to his enthusiasm and apparent excitement at working here you should be aware that the bulge in his pants is in fact a pack of sausages that he smuggles out every evening.