It is actually true - one of my nephews is a signalman.
There are two sets of rules governing use of level crossings, for the road user and for the rail operations user.
Roads users need to follow The Highway Code, points 291 to 299 -as supported by the Road Traffic Act
https://www.highwaycodeuk.co.uk/level-crossings.html
Rail Operators need to follow the Office of Rail and RoD's
Level Crossings: A guide for managers, designers and
operators
Railway Safety Publication 7
December 2011
https://www.orr.gov.uk/guidance-compliance/rail/health-safety/level-crossings
You can check through these for detailed answers to your points but both refer to the same basic instructions as given in The Highway Code point 294 -
Railway telephones.
"If you are driving a large or slow- moving vehicle, a long, low vehicle with a risk of grounding, or herding animals, a train could arrive before you are clear of the crossing. You
MUST obey any sign instructing you to use the railway telephone to obtain permission to cross. You
MUST also telephone when clear of the crossing if requested to do so.
Laws RTA 1988 sect 36 & TSRGD regs 10 & 16(1)"
As per The Highway Code 'Large Vehicle' is only referred to, not defined absolutely, in the section
'Road users requiring extra care (204 to 225)'
Eg
Rule 221 says
Large vehicles. These may need extra road space to turn or to deal with a hazard that you are not able to see.
If you are following a large vehicle, such as a bus or articulated lorry, [my emphasis] be aware that the driver may not be able to see you in the mirrors. Be prepared to stop and wait if it needs room or time to turn.
This 'definition' is reinforced by
Rule 222 - Large vehicles can block your view. Your ability to see and to plan ahead will be improved if you pull back to increase your separation distance. Be patient, as
larger vehicles are subject to lower speed limits than cars and motorcycles. Many large vehicles may be fitted with speed limiting devices which will restrict speed to 56 mph (90 km/h) even on a motorway. [My emphasis]
For slow moving vehicle there is a tighter definition given in rule 225
Rule 225
Vehicles with flashing amber beacons. These warn of a
slow-moving [my emphasis] or stationary vehicle (such as a traffic officer vehicle, salt spreader, snow plough or recovery vehicle) or abnormal loads, so approach with caution. On unrestricted dual carriageways,
motor vehicles first used on or after 1 January 1947 with a maximum speed of 25 mph (40 km/h) or less [my emphasis] (such as tractors)
MUST use a flashing amber beacon (also see
Rule 220).
Rule 220 just refers to the powered vehicles used by disabled people that can travel at a maximum speed of 8 mph (12 km/h) and must, as above, use a flashing amber beacon on unrestricted dual carriageways.
So there you have it. The deliberately vague Large and Slow vehicle definitions used in the Highway Code and applicable to level crossings.
As for 'Abnormal Vehicles and Loads' these are defined in the government publication
'Transporting abnormal loads'
An 'abnormal load' is a vehicle that has any of the following:
a weight of more than 44,000kg. an axle load of more than 10,000kg for a single non-driving axle and 11,500kg for a single driving axle. a width of more than 2.9 metres.
https://www.gov.uk/esdal-and-abnormal-loads
Technically all articulated HGV drivers should call the signaller to obtain permission to go over a level crossing but we all know that very few do and I don't blame them! I think this is due to historic fears of the trailer becoming detached and blocking the crossing, but I doubt that anyone could say for certain - it could just be that it is kept to make the vehicle drivers take extra care at level crossings and/or at the request of insurance companies so that blame can be ascribed in the event of an HGV-Train collision on a level crossing.