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Off Topic Question and answers

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by rooch 3, Jan 22, 2022.

  1. spirit of 73

    spirit of 73 Well-Known Member

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    How can you tell when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
     
    #21
  2. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh>
     
    #22
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  3. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    How do you know when the inks ran out of your invisible ink pen?
     
    #23
  4. Draig

    Draig Well-Known Member

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    When the lorry driver rings the signaler to ask for permission to drive over the level crossing they are stopping vehicles behind them but on the road. If they stopped in the road immediately after driving over the crossing then a vehicle behind them would be stopped on the level crossing itself - that driver may stall or turn off the vehicle's ignition (as The Highway Code clearly tells you to: "You must not leave a vehicle's engine running unnecessarily while that vehicle is stationary on a public road).

    There is then a possibility that the car on the crossing cannot be re-started and is stuck on the level crossing but the lorry driver walks in front of his truck, doesn't see any vehicle stopped on the crossing so tells the signaler that the crossing is clear then drives off completely unaware of the breakdown on the crossing - so the signaler, unaware of the problem, may then allow a train through and result in a train/vehicle collision.

    If the lorry driver has to pull in to the left and off the road after clearing the level crossing then he has a) cleared the road and so doesn't cause any vehicles behind him to stop on the crossing and b) he has to walk back toward the phone box with a clear view of the level crossing so can tell the signaler if there is any vehicle broken down on the crossing.
     
    #24
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2022
  5. The Exile II

    The Exile II Well-Known Member

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    How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?

    Who's in the house?

    Why does it always rain on me?

    Where is the love?
     
    #25
    Oliver's Army likes this.
  6. C Montgomery Burns

    C Montgomery Burns Well-Known Member

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    A) 10
    B) me
    C) because you've not read the weather forecast and went out without your big coat
    D) what is love? (baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more (Haddaway))
     
    #26
    TopCat., John Wick and The Exile II like this.
  7. FellTop

    FellTop Well-Known Member

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    Why does slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing?
     
    #27
    Nordic and John Wick like this.
  8. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

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    I hate Travis <doh>
     
    #28
  9. Oliver's Army

    Oliver's Army Well-Known Member

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    What gets wetter the more it......... Ah, you's already know the answer <laugh>
     
    #29
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  10. monty987

    monty987 Well-Known Member

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    when the dark nights came in sept my dad would say " it's getting late early" ! and where did the word cupboard come from ? and does anyone put gloves in a glove compartment lol.
     
    #30

  11. The Exile II

    The Exile II Well-Known Member

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    You use a bagpipe tuner.

    There's nothing better than well played bagpipes. There's also nothing worse than badly played bagpipes, and most people play them badly.
     
    #31
    spirit of 73 likes this.
  12. Draig

    Draig Well-Known Member

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    After considerable study, including many hours of comparison using the latest in auditory comparison software and autotune software I am in a position to authoritatively state that there is precisely no difference between well played and badly played bagpipes!
     
    #32
  13. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    Why does the sun come out during the day? Wouldn't it be more useful if it came out at night?
     
    #33
  14. makemdan

    makemdan Well-Known Member

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    They had 4 good songs
    Why does it......
    Turn
    Sing
    Driftwood

    which I really like but that's about it
     
    #34
  15. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Is this actually true or have you just made it up?<laugh> Why does the lorry not just drive over like everybody else and keep going? Why does he need to ring the signal box?
     
    #35
  16. John Wick

    John Wick Well-Known Member

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    Did Marvin Gaye ever find out what's goin on?
     
    #36
    Makemstine Roger and FellTop like this.
  17. John Wick

    John Wick Well-Known Member

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    If you go out on the drink, and you get in about 3am and go to bed, you'd say it was late when you went to sleep.

    If you were going on holiday and your flight was an early one, so you went to bed at 7pm and got up at 3am, you'd say you had to be up early.

    When does late become early?
     
    #37
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  18. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    Daylight savings
     
    #38
  19. C Montgomery Burns

    C Montgomery Burns Well-Known Member

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    Yeah. He heard it through the grapevine...
     
    #39
    Oldsandy likes this.
  20. Chunksafc

    Chunksafc Guest

    How does the man that drives a snow plow get to work?
     
    #40
    rooch 3 likes this.

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