Off Topic Pointless point-scoring thread

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Lamb is always on the menu, this time it's Bull on the menu from Gordon parks who is in danger of making Derek Johnstone look like Hugh McIlvanney.


Gordon Parks believes the Portuguese' latest verbal offering is a welcome change from the norm in the Scottish game and insists there’s a gentlemanly sophistication to his work.It was only a matter of time before the poetry of Pedro Caixinha would Count Dracula as one of his victims.But the Rangers boss shouldn’t get it in the neck for his latest verbal offering. His managerial lust for trophies, he says, is like a vampire’s craving for blood. To be fair, any boss without that hunger ends up taking a silver bullet. Colourful words and it’s food and drink to a quote-starved sports writer when one of Scottish football’s pivotal figures starts talking in headlines. Better than a monotone, say-nothing approach taken by a host of his counterparts.

Barking dogs and caravans aplenty – it’s part and parcel of the parables of the Portuguese gaffer when confronted with a tape recorder.Truth be told, the only time he’s suffered foot in mouth was when he banned his players from wearing green boots. Caixinha’s career has been littered with abstract soundbites that add drama to his interviews.

“Defeat is the same as death,” he claimed once after a defeat. Much of what is said may be lost in translation – but there was no doubt about this offering ahead of the Celtic game in April when he bared his fangs. He said: “When I feel I am not being respected, I’m not going to respect. I’m polite, I’m educated but I’m a f***ing tough guy.”


Let’s not forget, this is a man who trained as a kid to become a matador and says he’s faced about 90 bulls in the ring.

He says: “I’ve learned a lot from fighting the bull. The preparation is demanding, the physical side of it, the analysis.” To understand the man, you must understand the scholar as much as the sportsman. His background can leave him open to ridicule for his flowery language, given Scottish football’s parochial ways. But there’s a gentlemanly sophistication to his work, every press conference is met with a smile and a shake of hands.

Thoughtful, insightful – and preferable to managers who take the ‘would love to rip your head off’ approach. The Rangers boss offers a refreshing change to some of the dull characters who don’t share his turn of phrase. Sadly it’s like trying to get blood out of a stone with some. Caixinha’s not the first manager to punctuate press conferences with a few ancient proverbs.

Stuff like: ‘It was a game of two halves’ and the classic ‘dust ourselves down and look forward to the next one’. The great Bill Shankly said: “Aim for the sky and you’ll reach the ceiling, reach for the ceiling and you’ll stay on the floor.” But vampires eh?

A note of caution, Pedro. Action speaks louder than words. Defeat from Motherwell today and it could be another stake in his heart.
 
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