Off Topic Pointless Insecty Bastards

[Happy Tiger]

My dog's discovered that he loves the juicy little buggers.

There's something deeply satisfying about buzz, buzz, buzz, chomp, silence.

Our Honey Badger, Buster, also likes flies.

It was funny at first. Seeing him chomping the air, and occasionally catching one. Then minutes later, seeing him kiss the face of one of the 3 leeches who hadn't seen him catch the fly.

Now, at 13 years old, you have to be careful the daft little bastard doesn't scramble over our Indonesian mahogany furniture in an attempt to catch, and usually miss, a bluebottle, knocking ornaments, cups etc out of the way.

Plus the leeches have moved out so that aspects gone too.

 

[Kempton]

My dog's discovered that he loves the juicy little buggers.

There's something deeply satisfying about buzz, buzz, buzz, chomp, silence.

If you leave a glass of Shiraz on the the kitchen table for two minutes, you too can enjoy the taste of a bluebottle marinade. I didn't swallow it Ern, but it left it's mark on me. I'll never forget.

 

[BlackAndAmberGambler]

My dog's discovered that he loves the juicy little buggers.

There's something deeply satisfying about buzz, buzz, buzz, chomp, silence.

Serious point here Ern. You shouldn't encourage it as he may eat a bee or wasp by mistake and get badly stung in his mouth. Just saying like.

 

[where's les mutrie now]

Wasps every time, although those devious night creatures mosquito's run them close.

 

[PattyNchips2]

Wasps
Earwigs
Ants (I know they're cool the way they work together etc...but to achieve what?! Little biting ****ers)
Flying ants...the Piers Morgan of the lot. You avoid sitting directly on the floor so ants can't bite you and then the ****ers evolve wings so they can get you anywhere. And when they bite I get a massive swelling, so when one bit my hand it ended up looking like an inflated rubber glove (leave it...I've thought of the obvious option...it's not worth it)

when having a 5 knuckle shuffle with said hand, if its inflamed and numb..... does it feel like someone else is doing it for you?

 

[Carmine Galante.]

Flies.

This time of year they can find their way in through the smallest slit of an open window.

Yet I could remove an entire wall and they wouldn't find their way out.

Just butt their heads around the opening.

I got bought a fly gun a couple of years ago, it's fooking ace.

Not as painful a death as being sprayed with poison.

Fly lands, Carmine stealthily approaches, raises gun. Then steadies his breathing- he's done this before- this gig ain't new to him. Gives a wry smile and......... endex for Mr Fly.

Just waiting to off a moff.

****ing hate moffs.

 

[HHH]

I got bought a fly gun a couple of years ago, it's fooking ace.

Not as painful a death as being sprayed with poison.

Fly lands, Carmine stealthily approaches, raises gun. Then steadies his breathing- he's done this before- this gig ain't new to him. Gives a wry smile and......... endex for Mr Fly.

Just waiting to off a moff.

****ing hate moffs.

Had to google it.

Might stick it on my fathers day wish list.

Crane flies are another for me.

They dance around on the ceiling like a lanky Lionel Richie, than suddenly swoop down straight at your head.

They've got some balls, I'll give them that.

 

[LeftSaidFred]

Not quite an insect but a fish....

Candiru.... Swims up your urine stream when you are taking a much needed piss, then once inside you puts it barbs out to hold on/in.......

I take it your having a piss somewhere other than the bog.

 

[Oregon Tiger]

Cockroaches, especially the huge buggers we used to get in Texas. On the plus side they were good darts practice.

 

[originallambrettaman]

Maybugs. Filthy ****ing things. Had one drop down the chimney and start flying round the lounge last week. Thought it was a ****ing bat...

You must log in or register to see media

 

[BrAdY]

I take it your having a piss somewhere other than the bog.

that's pretty much proven to be nothing more than a myth

 

[Happy Tiger]

Maybugs. Filthy ****ing things. Had one drop down the chimney and start flying round the lounge last week. Thought it was a ****ing bat...

You must log in or register to see media

You've just tried to justify googling for cock chafing.

FACT.

 

[BlackAndAmberGambler]

Love an electric tennis racquet for swatting flies.

 

[Plum]

Love an electric tennis racquet for swatting flies.

Rolled up copy of the Daily Telegraph for me.

 

[SimonGraysJacket]

Love an electric tennis racquet for swatting flies.

Yep same here, however tempting it is, do not put your tongue on it and press the button.
Also quite O/T do not put small 5p coins up your nose, they are difficult to get out.
Why is it though that when you have your bat ready and poised the ****ing flies disappear on their own whey you are ready to fry em?

 

[BlackAndAmberGambler]

Yep same here, however tempting it is, do not put your tongue on it and press the button.
Also quite O/T do not put small 5p coins up your nose, they are difficult to get out.
Why is it though that when you have your bat ready and poised the ****ing flies disappear on their own whey you are ready to fry em?

Word of warning re the electric tennis racquet. DO NOT attempt to dispatch a fly whilst naked as a short sharp shock to the bellend ****ing hurts...so I'm told.

 

[Happy Tiger]

Yep same here, however tempting it is, do not put your tongue on it and press the button.
Also quite O/T do not put small 5p coins up your nose, they are difficult to get out.
Why is it though that when you have your bat ready and poised the ****ing flies disappear on their own whey you are ready to fry em?

Word of warning re the electric tennis racquet. DO NOT attempt to dispatch a fly whilst naked as a short sharp shock to the bellend ****ing hurts...so I'm told.

You pair made me laugh.

Nobbers.