OT Good For Him

[superHusky1]

Uber, obviously I'm in no way qualified to talk for other people, but I would really have to question the notion of an individual being 'made' gay, particularly through experiencing sexual abuse. To be blunt, I can't really fathom that being raped would make you into a certain sexual persuasion. I really feel that if an individual participates in a same sex relationship after such an experience they were either (a) gay already or (b) so disturbed that they found some sort of mistaken solace in such a relationship.

Anyway, I would be interested to know what other factors you think would 'make' a person gay? The influence of parents, perhaps; or choice of playmates at school? As you could imagine, a lot of gay men have had issues with their parents, and particularly their fathers who might be from a certain background or generation that despised gays. Surely men growing up in this enviroment would be less likely to be made gay? Or if a boy had lots of female friends from an early age, often, though not always, a sign of being gay, surely this tendency came from within that individual rather than the influence of outside forces.

If you take the 'made' line, then you really have to be open to the notion that over an extended period of time, you or perhaps a friend or family member might be 'made' gay by absorbing certain influences. Plus, you might have to be open to the idea that straight people are also 'made', i.e. influenced in that direction as opposed to being gay, which I don't think too many people would subscribe to.

Obviously your entitled to an opinion, but I would just be interested to find out what the circumstances were for making a gay person? And don't worry about offending in your reply. This also applies to anyone else who wants to offer an opinion.

 

[kiwiqpr]

have to say that I am amazed this has got 5 pages without someone turning it into a ****fest

maybe Brixton has nothing to worry about after all

 

[Uber_Hoop]

Uber, obviously I'm in no way qualified to talk for other people, but I would really have to question the notion of an individual being 'made' gay, particularly through experiencing sexual abuse. To be blunt, I can't really fathom that being raped would make you into a certain sexual persuasion. I really feel that if an individual participates in a same sex relationship after such an experience they were either (a) gay already or (b) so disturbed that they found some sort of mistaken solace in such a relationship.

Anyway, I would be interested to know what other factors you think would 'make' a person gay? The influence of parents, perhaps; or choice of playmates at school? As you could imagine, a lot of gay men have had issues with their parents, and particularly their fathers who might be from a certain background or generation that despised gays. Surely men growing up in this enviroment would be less likely to be made gay? Or if a boy had lots of female friends from an early age, often, though not always, a sign of being gay, surely this tendency came from within that individual rather than the influence of outside forces.

If you take the 'made' line, then you really have to be open to the notion that over an extended period of time, you or perhaps a friend or family member might be 'made' gay by absorbing certain influences. Plus, you might have to be open to the idea that straight people are also 'made', i.e. influenced in that direction as opposed to being gay, which I don't think too many people would subscribe to.

Obviously your entitled to an opinion, but I would just be interested to find out what the circumstances were for making a gay person? And don't worry about offending in your reply. This also applies to anyone else who wants to offer an opinion.

Husky, I don't think I disagree with any of the comments that you have made above. If an individual is homosexual as a consequence of childhood abuse then it may be argued that there is a strong psychological factor at play, so perhaps the cause to lead such a life is a negative one as opposed to a positive one. I quoted a caller on the Jeremy Vine show with a story to that effect because that is what he said. He became a homosexual and a rent boy and still bore the scars of his childhood experience and the life he subsequently led. It was a sorry tale. Certainly, the childhood abuse is inexcusable and we would all agree that the perpertrator should be brought to justice.

I am not homosexual so I can only guess at what factors would make somebody so. I have not pretended otherwise, hence the acknowledgement that I am no expert in sexuality or genetics.

One possible theory that may support your 'born' argument is that maybe we are all born with the potential to be homosexual? Certainly, it is a fact that all eggs are initially female before fertilisation by the sperm, which then establishes the sex of the foetus. Maybe this is a factor, or may it is complete and utter bollocks. It will come as no surprise to learn that I have no idea whatsoever if this is a factor or not, i.e. that we all have male and female chromosomes.

The truth might be that it is all completely random. I'm beginning to think this might be the most valid of all explanations. We are all ultimately (it would seem) governed by our emotions and feelings. What makes something attractive to one, but unattractive to another? Where's Desmond Morris when you need him?

All the best to everybody.

 

[superHusky1]

A very reasonable answer, Uber. There must be multiple factors involved, but from my own experience I can definitely say wasn't made - always did boy things, captained my boys football team etc.

The sad story about sexual abuse is just that - that person was looking for consolation in the only type of 'loving' relationship he knew: whether that actually makes him gay is less clear, to me at any rate.

Think I'm gonna leave this thread now, but I would like to thank everyone for being cool with me and the subject more generally.

 

[Uber_Hoop]

Think I'm gonna leave this thread now, but I would like to thank everyone for being cool with me and the subject more generally.

Yeah, me too. All the best to you and yours, Husky.

 

[Swords Hoopster.]

Swords, your posts seem to have mellowed as the thread has gone on, but I have to take issue with your 'club is the most important thing' stance early on. I struggle to square this statement with your stance as the freedom of speech advocate on the board (in which you have my support).

Absolute freedom of speech mate. But if one of our players coming out affects their performances then they should be dropped/sold. No ifs or buts.

They should be very mindful of the stick they'll get from the crowd if they do come out. Anton Ferdinand did something similar, albeit in a different context, and I believe the Club undeniably suffered as a consequence. This to me is unforgivable. The Club should never come second to an individual temporary acquisition's (a player) personal crusades whether that be a spat with another player or announcing to the World that you're gay.

Swords, I try to be careful when I write on subjects that are specially sensitive such as this, so deliberately litter my piece with words and phrases such as "as I understand it", "I would suppose" and "perhaps". If you read again what I have written, it will dawn on you that nothing was written as fact.

Uber you said: "As I understand it there are examples of men that were sexually abused when young that turned to homosexuality as a consequence. I would suppose that some found themselves leading this life because of damage arising from that abuse, perhaps manifest self-loathing."

That clearly implies you have evidence of such. Where is this evidence?

(That bloke banging on on your car radio was after you posted that claim. )

 

[Wherever]

Ok not gay but who likes a cheeky finger

 

[Uber_Hoop]

Uber you said: "As I understand it there are examples of men that were sexually abused when young that turned to homosexuality as a consequence. I would suppose that some found themselves leading this life because of damage arising from that abuse, perhaps manifest self-loathing."

That clearly implies you have evidence of such. Where is this evidence?

(That bloke banging on on your car radio was after you posted that claim. )

Swords, if I was to tell you that I was (for the sake of argument) into bestiality, you would be quite within your rights to tell (say) Brixton that "as you understand it" this was the case, without you having to produce pictures of me hanging out the back of a badger.

 

[BrixtonR]

Very decent thread that's been suggested has now down its time. Agree.

Thanks for some solid respectful contributions.