Old and Funny, but not sure if it works with the English accent, but I don't care!

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monacoger

POTY 2021
Feb 2, 2010
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Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?

He was in his cell!


P.S. On a train, some ****er from Brixton sat down opposite a good looking white bird. He started eating raw prawns, throwing the heads on to the white bird(who we shall call Petra from now on, for no other reason that she would probably be good looking and white, in fact, lets call the **** from Brixton...Rufus). Anyway, every time he ate a prawn, he chucked the head of the prawn on to Petra, which Petra threw out of the window. This went on for about 20 minutes, until Petra thought to herself, "**** it", so she pulled the emergency chord. At this point, Rufus said, "Hahaha you stupid white bitch, as soon as the ticket master comes he will charge you £250 for pulling that". Petra, being, white and clever says back, "As soon as the police come and I cry rape, they will smell your fingers and you'll do 15 years, you black ****, now **** off"!!!


BOOM BOOM!!!(it was very funny in my head!!)
 
Also, ST, I can be drunk at this time because I'm not a pauper and I'm not even in Monaco just now!
 
I'm shocked monacoger. If you're going to rehash old jokes that don't work in an English accent, you should have used Andy Cameron's 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?' joke rather than nick the arch-Tim Connolly's material.
 
It's an old joke that Andy Cameron used to do that only works in a Glaswegian accent.

A guy goes into a bakers and says, 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?'
The baker says, 'No, you're right enough. It's a doughnut.'

Cameron had a ****e chatshow on telly back in the 80s, and he used to tell that joke to his sidekick every week and the guy never got it. You have to read 'meringue' as 'am I wrong' said with a Glaswegian accent.
 
It's an old joke that Andy Cameron used to do that only works in a Glaswegian accent.

A guy goes into a bakers and says, 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?'
The baker says, 'No, you're right enough. It's a doughnut.'

Cameron had a ****e chatshow on telly back in the 80s, and he used to tell that joke to his sidekick every week and the guy never got it. You have to read 'meringue' as 'am I wrong' said with a Glaswegian accent.

I don't get it
 
Wee wifey goes tae the Dentist n the Dentist tell her tae sit doon...

So, she takes a seat and the Dentist asks "Comfy"

"Govan" she replies!
 
Wee wifey goes tae the Dentist n the Dentist tell her tae sit doon...

So, she takes a seat and the Dentist asks "Comfy"

"Govan" she replies!

Ian Paisley's wife goes to the dentist and the dentist says "How's the mouth?".

She replied "In bed with a cold".


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Did you hear about the midget that died?

He had a fit of coughing