1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Old and Funny, but not sure if it works with the English accent, but I don't care!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by monacoger, Feb 25, 2011.

  1. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?

    He was in his cell!


    P.S. On a train, some ****er from Brixton sat down opposite a good looking white bird. He started eating raw prawns, throwing the heads on to the white bird(who we shall call Petra from now on, for no other reason that she would probably be good looking and white, in fact, lets call the **** from Brixton...Rufus). Anyway, every time he ate a prawn, he chucked the head of the prawn on to Petra, which Petra threw out of the window. This went on for about 20 minutes, until Petra thought to herself, "**** it", so she pulled the emergency chord. At this point, Rufus said, "Hahaha you stupid white bitch, as soon as the ticket master comes he will charge you £250 for pulling that". Petra, being, white and clever says back, "As soon as the police come and I cry rape, they will smell your fingers and you'll do 15 years, you black ****, now **** off"!!!


    BOOM BOOM!!!(it was very funny in my head!!)
     
    #1
  2. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    Well, you can all go and **** yourselves, you bunch of uphill gardening ****ers/catholics!
     
    #2
  3. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    ****ing laugh you ****s!
     
    #3
  4. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    44 views, you ****ing pond life ****ers! Bring back THFC6061.
     
    #4
  5. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    Also, ST, I can be drunk at this time because I'm not a pauper and I'm not even in Monaco just now!
     
    #5
  6. staggie

    staggie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2010
    Messages:
    1,875
    Likes Received:
    62
    ****'s sake monaco, you've had some night of it. Long time since we had one of your epic rants <laugh>
     
    #6
  7. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    I don't know what you mean! **** me, I'm getting tired though!!
     
    #7
  8. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    14,150
    Likes Received:
    3,751
    I'm shocked monacoger. If you're going to rehash old jokes that don't work in an English accent, you should have used Andy Cameron's 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?' joke rather than nick the arch-Tim Connolly's material.
     
    #8
  9. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2010
    Messages:
    63,433
    Likes Received:
    49,017
    I don't get that squiggler, explain please
     
    #9
  10. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2011
    Messages:
    14,150
    Likes Received:
    3,751
    It's an old joke that Andy Cameron used to do that only works in a Glaswegian accent.

    A guy goes into a bakers and says, 'Is that a doughnut or a meringue?'
    The baker says, 'No, you're right enough. It's a doughnut.'

    Cameron had a ****e chatshow on telly back in the 80s, and he used to tell that joke to his sidekick every week and the guy never got it. You have to read 'meringue' as 'am I wrong' said with a Glaswegian accent.
     
    #10

  11. EDGE

    EDGE Guest

    I don't get it
     
    #11
  12. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2010
    Messages:
    31,025
    Likes Received:
    4,561
    EDGE and monacoger = Thick ****s!
     
    #12
  13. EDGE

    EDGE Guest

    <doh>
     
    #13
  14. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2010
    Messages:
    31,025
    Likes Received:
    4,561
    Dinnae gie me any of yer 606 <doh>

    Talking of 606. The snooker forum was interesting last night.
     
    #14
  15. EDGE

    EDGE Guest

    Snookerloopy <laugh>
     
    #15
  16. Null

    Null Well-Known Member
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    34,179
    Likes Received:
    9,757
    Wee wifey goes tae the Dentist n the Dentist tell her tae sit doon...

    So, she takes a seat and the Dentist asks "Comfy"

    "Govan" she replies!
     
    #16
  17. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    63,752
    Likes Received:
    13,027
    Ian Paisley's wife goes to the dentist and the dentist says "How's the mouth?".

    She replied "In bed with a cold".


    ============================

    Did you hear about the midget that died?

    He had a fit of coughing
     
    #17

Share This Page