The "Mouth-watering News" post North Ferriby United game conspiracy theory - a transcript...
Peter Grieve:
"Hi big man, all going to plan with the stubborn buggers. As expected, they hiked the price, so now we go into phase 2."
Steve Bruce:
" Ah, so I revise my requirements list to add 2 more signings needed due to recent injuries ? Bound to be at least 1 more during pre-season, so should I make it 9 ?"
Grievesy:
"You've got it big man. They have our final bid price, they know that by adding more player assets & salaries we will walk away. so they'll reduce the transfer budget, piss you off enough to give them an ultimatum. Just tell ''em to fulfill their promise or let you go. Either way we'll make sure you're ok. To reiterate, we want you to stay to keep us in the top league, but you walking will destabilize them even more. They'll be desperate to get their money, come back crawling, likely with the original price or even less. That would mean a larger transfer budget than they were offering you, which was as you recall a fair bit higher than the one we guaranteed you should we take control."
Brucey.
"I'm right on it Pete. To make it more authentic, I think I'll shed a few tears and make sure that becomes common knowledge, which should discredit them even more. Looking forward to giving it a go until at least the January transfer window.
Grievesy.
"Ok big man, just make sure you time it right...we need those players before the summer window closes".
Brucey:
Thanks Pete...a win/win maybe !