Off Topic Neighbours

Neighbours, most of us have them
What do you like most about your neighbour and what do you dislike

Mine
Hes a Toon fan, 80 years old and talks football with me all the time, takes my bins out on bin day and generally keeps him self to himself, not a nosey neighbour

Dislike that he always in the garden either cutting his hedge or cutting the grass especially only 2 days after his last cut, when it couldn't have grown a millimetre
Annoying as wor lass sees this as an excuse for me to get the lawn mower out

 

Back when we beat the Germans 5-1, one of my neighbours was German. Imagine the fun I had...

 

Mine are ****s of the highest order. I genuinely feel sorry for the children there

 

One of my current neighbours is a scruffy, nosy turd who I nearly banjoed a few years ago

 

Both of mine are old. One is an old lady. Never hear from her. The other an old couple. Never really hear from them either. So I’m quite lucky. They probably think I’m a dick!

 

I remember when I lived at home in the 70s we had a Scottish and Irish couple
Nicesy neighbours you could of wished for until the international football was on

 

In an old house one of the neighbours had a real fit daughter who came to see them. She was about 26 years old and honestly I loved it when she came round. I was like to the wife. I’m washing upstairs windows again and she was like you only did then the other day.

 

Oh right. So is that a euphemism?

 

A what a ism? At the time I was eary 30’s. I’m 40 now.

 

The bloke in the cell next to me is a great lad, however the fella on the other side is a right tw@t.

 

I've got great neighbours.

To my right I have a lad I've known since I was about 10. Fortunately he also still likes to get pissed out of his brain, loves football, boxing, golf and to call it a day at 4 in the morning. Although I think at times the missus would disagree its great having him there. There is never a crossed word and his missus is a top lass too. He has a bar in his garden too which is handy after a night out. We are thinking about putting a gate in when we get the hot tub put in. Swingers parties in no time - yee hah!

To my left there is a older fella who lives on his own. However I think he is at his boyfriends a lot so we never really see him or have to worry noise etc. He seems pretty chilled out anyway. I cut his front garden for him as the lawns are joined anyway. And he gave my missus a bottle of prosecco when we moved in, so I decided he was sound straight away. She is more malleable after a drink

 

Spoke to my neighbours once, they might have said "hei" to me, and I said "hei" back. That's about it.

 

Are they Chinese? If so you where speaking Japanese! Night explain why they won’t speak to you any more!

 

Mine has a daughter who keeps parking her ****ty Megane in front of my house. Other side I've never seen him before, he's probably lost in the 10ft grass in his back garden

 

Mines a massive football fan and I’m sure he uses 606. So I am keeping quiet on this one as he’ll probably figure out I’m talking about him.

If you can see this Neil, you’re a top lad.

 

One of my neighbours had three fires in his garden in one week. I told him...stop....or....baseball bat. He hasn't had one since.

 

I'm young compared to my neighbours
Trev.....

They must hate us, 4 cars and a van in the street at times.

 

Feck 'em I shot a 69 out there today, outstanding golf play. It's been coming, I've played every day for the past two weeks

 

Cracking score that.
If I was your caddie, 65 would be on the cards.
We were just on about your caddying days at the weekend.

 

I'm playing Barber on Monday, I have to give him 25 shots to let him have a chance Aye, caddying back in the day, what a way to earn ten bob!