It will be nice to see someone with a smile on his face at OT again
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All very nice, and all that.
However, let me take all you United fans back three seasons...
Sitting comfortably?
Good, then I shall begin.
You'd just sacked the last tosser manager from the club, and there was big talk about who you were all going to get in. Poch's name was bandied about, at that time, although you all seem to have forgotten that bit in the narrative. Yet there was one person, above all others, whom most of you wanted. Yes, that's right - Mourhino.
Is it all coming back, now?
Good.
Well, when he was appointed manager, there was an almost universal masturbation frenzy among you! Every plastic and his dog came crawling out from under his little stone, gripping his little knob-ette, and began frotting into the trough. It was a filthy spectacle that sickened the rest of us.
When Mourhino won you the Europa League - against the clever money - the frenzy hit new heights, staining curtains and bedsheets alike with your vile jism. Last season, after he secured you second spot, it was as though Christ had returned, not to Bethlehem this time, but to OT.
One of the worst consequences of the euphoria was us having to put up with the outright ****wittedness of Matth, your greatest supporter and cheerleader.
Alas! Our story does not have a happy ending.
Your Jesus has been crucified and there are no disciples to bear his body from the cross to the tomb, and Matth hasn't been seen for hours. The road ahead, once illuminated by merely a pallid light, is now as black as pitch, and none of you truly knows to where the club is headed.
So, smiles on faces?
I fear not, young Diego.
Best hold back those smiles for fear that you may yet be about to step bravely into that darkness only to fall from the ledge that lurks therein, and into an abyss.
Yeah?
The End.