Off Topic Missing Persons Alert.

If you needed somebody to test the quality of the cotton on your pillow using their mouth, you wouldn't ask him to bite your pillow either.


That's somewhat contrived, mate. Even by your standards.
 
If you had sweetcorn stuck up your ringpiece you wouldn't ask Ronaldo to remove it

To be fair, though, Bruv, I'm not sure I would ask any bloke to do that. I'm not even sure how I would start that conversation.
 
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@FosseFilberto want to join in with the Ronaldo homo-innuendo jibes?

You'd be good at this , what with your homo erotic fantasies.

How about something to do with cinnamon rings and pants around ankles ?