Off Topic Missing Persons Alert.

If you had sweetcorn stuck up your ringpiece you wouldn't ask Ronaldo to remove it

 

If it was springtime on the farm and your tractor was broken, you wouldn't ask Ronaldo for a plough.

 

That's somewhat contrived, mate. Even by your standards.

 

If he were King Arthur and your sword were stuck in a stone you wouldn't ask him to give it a tug.

 

To be fair, though, Bruv, I'm not sure I would ask any bloke to do that. I'm not even sure how I would start that conversation.

 

If Ronaldo was a turkey, you wouldn't want to find out how he gobbled, yeah?

 

I dont eat the stuff for that very reason...just wouldn't know who to ask.

 

If you went with Ronaldo to the Saudi embassy you wouldn't ask for a Sheik.

 

@FosseFilberto want to join in with the Ronaldo homo-innuendo jibes?

You'd be good at this , what with your homo erotic fantasies.

How about something to do with cinnamon rings and pants around ankles ?

 

If Ronaldo had a drum set you wouldn't ask him to give you a beat.

 

If Ronaldo were a jewelry salesman you wouldn't ask to inspect his ring.

 

If Ronaldo was a lumberjack, you wouldn't ask to see his chopper.

 

If Ronaldo were buying potatoes you wouldn't offer to hold his sack.

 

If Ronaldo started a band you wouldn't offer to play his flute.

 

If Woy Hodgson and Ronaldo had a competition together you wouldn't want to... um... Rank them.

 

If Ronaldo were mailing letters, you wouldn't offer to lick the seam.

 

If Ronaldo were at a petting zoo you wouldn't suggest he pet the snake.

 

If Ronaldo were with Matth you wouldn't disturb them at 9am if the curtains are drawn.

 

If you were Chinese and your name was Wang Ouwt you wouldn't ask Ronaldo to hang out.

 

Leave you to it mate ... you seem to be doing just fine