**** me xmas is coming around fast this year! Just walked into Tescos and they've got the xmas chocolates out already. Gets into work and I get an email for the works xmas party. All im thinking is great now ive got to shed out aload of money on a load of ****e just for it to be used once then thrown to the back of the wardroom.
hush yer mouth, or we'll be getting some 'I bought Hovis thick cut for my toaster and it was alot more toasted than medium sliced, why?' type of thread
Prime minister David Cameron has said he is not ruling out the sort of military campaign in Iraq that could see him ultimately be named GQ’s Humanitarian of the year. With more pressure mounting for the government to take military action in Iraq against the Islamic State, many have predicted that Cameron could be on the verge of making himself a bookies favourite for future GQ awards. As one expert explained, “GQ have set their precedent with Tony Blair – if you want to be considered a true humanitarian on a global scale, you have to start a war that ends in the deaths of literally thousands and thousands of innocent people.” “That’s not something Bill Gates or the Dalai Lama can do, which is why they’ll never be humanitarian of the year.” Cameron going for GQ award The prime minister was quizzed by reporters as to his plans for any Iraqi campaign, but made no commitments either way. Cameron explained, “It’s far too early to say exactly what awards I might or might not win in the future.” “I’m not saying an award from GQ is having any direct influence on my decision to engage in military conflict, but I just think it’s nice to know that if I send our armed forces over there to start killing people, there might be a nice trophy at the end of it.” “And a lovely black tie dinner, obviously.”
I received a phone call from an ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic". "Wow!" I was flabbergasted. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have." She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge". "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, bald, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled and said, "I've put on a few pounds myself!" So I told her to **** off
