How many Roy Keanes does it take to change a lightbulb.....?
One, he stands still and the whole world revolves around him.
What do you get if you offer Roy Keane a penny for his thoughts?
Change.
A bloke on his way home from work in Dublin comes to a dead halt in traffic and thinks to himself, this traffic seems worse than usual, nothing's moving. He notices a Garda Officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks:
"What's the hold up?"
The officer replies:
"It's the ex-Ipswich manager, Roy Keane, he's just so depressed about getting tonked by Norwich, failing to be a decent manager and buying terrible players and now that he's been offered the Millwall job, he's threatening to douse himself in petrol and set fire to himself. He says everybody hates him so I'm walking up and down the cars collecting for him"
"Oh really?" says the man, "How much have you collected?"
"So far, only about 2.5 litres, but a lot of people are still siphoning"
A little boy says to his mother: 'Mammy, Mammy, when I grow up I want to be like Roy Keane'
She replies, 'You can't do both, son'.
What's the difference between Roy Keane and God?
God doesn't think he's Roy Keane.
