Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

[Smug in Boots]

....... according to Mrs Smug!

We've just driven back from Bath and, to pass the time, started recalling previous failed jobs we'd had. She reckoned, from looking at RAW's previous horrific puns he and a few others, off here, would have a few examples themselves.

I told her about my failed Oxford boat hire business ........ sadly no one was prepared to take a punt.

She recalled her disillusionment after becoming a clairvoyant ..... she just couldn't see any future in it.

 

[grandpops]

I invested in a hot air balloon business. Unfortunately, it didn`t get off the ground.

 

[Smug in Boots]

I invested in a hot air balloon business. Unfortunately, it didn`t get off the ground.

Coming from you I'm absolutely shocked to hear that .......

 

[Brian Storm]

Got a job on the Bins. It was rubbish.
I once worked with concrete but it just got harder and harder.
I used to be an apprentice butcher but I couldn't cut it

 

[Tel (they/them)]

Breaking News: Ne ws

 

[Smug in Boots]

Got a job on the Bins. It was rubbish.
I once worked with concrete but it just got harder and harder.
I used to be an apprentice butcher but I couldn't cut it

I worked as a radio announcer but had to quit as it affected my voice ..... it still sometimes fades if I go through a tunnel

 

[grandpops]

I had a brilliant idea of having gatherings for shy people.

Nobody turned up.

 

[Smug in Boots]

I had a brilliant idea of having gatherings for shy people.

Nobody turned up.

I had a temporary driving job and while I was out my boss called to say I'd been taken on permanently.
He called back later to say I'd been made up to team leader.
Sadly, when he rang to say I'd been made up to branch manager, I became distracted and careered of the road.

 

[Rick O'Shea]

I know someone who worked at a zoo in China and tried to get pandas to mate. It was very frustrating and he quit as he couldn't bear it.

 

[Rick O'Shea]

I know someone who worked at a zoo in China and tried to get pandas to mate. It was very frustrating and he quit as he couldn't bear it.

He didn't like the big cat enclosure either as he said "it made me puma kecks"

 

[Rick O'Shea]

He didn't like the big cat enclosure either as he said "it made me puma kecks"

He is now working in IT in Seoul as he needed a change of Korea.

 

[grandpops]

I know someone who worked at a zoo in China and tried to get pandas to mate. It was very frustrating and he quit as he couldn't bear it.

He didn't like the big cat enclosure either as he said "it made me puma kecks"

He is now working in IT in Seoul as he needed a change of Korea.

RAW will love these.

 

[Rick O'Shea]

My mate had to jacket in because his brain was mashed. He owns a small farm growing potatoes which he finds much more apeeling.

 

[Montysoptician]

People often ask me how I got my job as a book editor, well to cut a long story short...

 

[grandpops]

I always fancied being an accountant.

1) No hard graft.
2) Sociable hours.
3) Good pay.
5) I`m brilliant with numbers.

 

[Home_and_Away]

My missus once was a nurse.... But she didn't have the patience

 

[grandpops]

I`m going into business with Funky selling weed. It`s a joint venture.

We have high hopes for it.

 

[Mick Buxton's Allotment]

I've always had mad ideas about jobs i'd love. My first idea was a lettuce grower. That was just the tip of the iceberg

 

[Montysoptician]

I used to work in cold call selling, but I found it unethical, so I left and took up phishing

 

[grandpops]

I was a driving instructor for 15 years. Gave it up. Felt I needed a brake.