Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
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2020VisionofLeeds
Well-Known Member
2020VisionofLeeds
Well-Known Member
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A man wearing a MAGA baseball cap was seated next to an woman on an airplane. He turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The woman, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the man. “How about those children whose parents get them vaccinated becoming autistic.”
“Okay,” she said. “This could be interesting topic but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The man, visibly surprised by the woman’s question, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the woman replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss science and medicine, when you don’t know ****?”
The woman, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the man. “How about those children whose parents get them vaccinated becoming autistic.”
“Okay,” she said. “This could be interesting topic but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The man, visibly surprised by the woman’s question, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the woman replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss science and medicine, when you don’t know ****?”
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Mary and Ted got married and had 13 children. Then Ted died of heart disease.
She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Again Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 more children.
Mary finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, "Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel."
She married again and she & Bob had 7 more children. Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Again Mary remarried and this time she & John had 5 more children.
Mary finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, "Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?"
Margaret replied, "I think he means her legs, Ethel."