Jokes

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Makemstine Roger said:
Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Englishman opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Ham and English mustard again! If I get ham and mustard one more time, I'm going to jump off, too."
The Scotsman opened his lunch and said, "Haggis again. If I get a haggis sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death.
The Englishman opens his lunch, sees ham and English mustard and jumps too.
The Scotsman opens his lunch, sees the haggis, and jumps to his death also.
At the funeral, The Englishman’s wife is weeping. She says, If I'd known how really tired he was of ham and mustard, I never would have given it to him again!
The Scotsman’s wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him cheese! I didn't realise he hated haggis so much."
Everyone turned and stared at The Irishman’s wife. "Hey, don't look at me" she said. "He makes his own lunch"
Click to expand...

<laugh>
 
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A man and a woman meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20."

"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman angrily gets off the elevator.
The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

"Sperm bank," she says with her mouth full.
 
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