Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
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A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what Rita just told me?
That babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?”
“Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject has finally come up and she won’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But when a baby’s actually being born,” responded the teenager, “how does it get past your teeth?”.........
That babies come out of the same place where boys put their dicks?”
“Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject has finally come up and she won’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But when a baby’s actually being born,” responded the teenager, “how does it get past your teeth?”.........
Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal*Mart when they collide:
The first old guy says to the second guy. "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says. "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first says. "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The second old guy says. "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
The first old guy says. "Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
The first old guy says to the second guy. "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The second old guy says. "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first says. "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The second old guy says. "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"
The first old guy says. "Doesn't matter, let's look for yours."
Premature Ejaculation.
I remember going on a first date when I had to broach this subject.
We had only been in the restaurant 10 minutes when I blurted out “ I have to explain something, I suffer from Premature Ejaculation” “That’s presumptuous” she replied, “I haven’t decided whether I was going to sleep with you. “
“ I know it’s just I didn’t want you to think I had wet myself. “
I remember going on a first date when I had to broach this subject.
We had only been in the restaurant 10 minutes when I blurted out “ I have to explain something, I suffer from Premature Ejaculation” “That’s presumptuous” she replied, “I haven’t decided whether I was going to sleep with you. “
“ I know it’s just I didn’t want you to think I had wet myself. “
Two blondes walking through a forest come across a set of tracks.
First blonde.........Oh look, deer tracks
Second blonde.........Don't be stupid they're Badger tracks
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
First blonde.........Oh look, deer tracks
Second blonde.........Don't be stupid they're Badger tracks
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two Nuns cycling through the village on the way back to the convent
First Nun..........iv'e never come this way before
Second Nun.....neither have i, must be the cobbles,
First Nun..........iv'e never come this way before
Second Nun.....neither have i, must be the cobbles,
My last girlfriend was so self-absorbed.
Didn't even mention me in her suicide note.
Didn't even mention me in her suicide note.
often wondered what does an occasional table do with the rest of it's time
Just had some great financial news, couldn’t have come at a better time with the cost of living crisis
The kid I sponsored in Africa has been eaten by a lion
The kid I sponsored in Africa has been eaten by a lion
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bloody meal was cold when it arrived
Last edited:
brisbane-lion
Well-Known Member
I know, I sponsored that lion through the World Wildlife Fund. Well done, Leo. Don't thank me, Roger, glad to be of help.
