I've just been to a ventriloquist's funeral - they sang the hymn "All Things Gright And Geautikal!"
Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
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I've just been to a ventriloquist's funeral - they sang the hymn "All Things Gright And Geautikal!"
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Went to see a tribute band last night called bomb Jovi did a great version of living on a prayer mat
Q: What do you call the sweaty flap of skin which surrounds the vagina ?
A: The wife.
A: The wife.
If a woman drinks 2 glasses of wine a day it increases the chance of a stroke.
If you let her finish the bottle she might suck it too.
If you let her finish the bottle she might suck it too.
I never knew this....
Did you know 'listen' and 'silent' use the same letters?
Do you also know that the words 'race car' spelled backwards still spells 'race car'?
And that 'eat' is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense 'ate'?
And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in 'illegal immigrants' and add just a few more letters, it spells: 'Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking arseholes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-shagging, raggedy-ass idiots with you.'
How weird is that? English really is a strange language, isn't it!!!!!! *
Did you know 'listen' and 'silent' use the same letters?
Do you also know that the words 'race car' spelled backwards still spells 'race car'?
And that 'eat' is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells its past tense 'ate'?
And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in 'illegal immigrants' and add just a few more letters, it spells: 'Go home you free-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making, non-English-speaking arseholes and take those other hairy-faced, sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-shagging, raggedy-ass idiots with you.'
How weird is that? English really is a strange language, isn't it!!!!!! *
Two Irishmen looking through a mail order catalogue.
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
Paddy says "Look at these gorgeous women! The prices are reasonable too."
Mick agrees "I'm ordering one right now"
3 weeks later Paddy says to Mick "Has your woman turned up yet?"
"No" said Mick "but it shouldn't be long now though. Her clothes arrived yesterday!!
The Grim Reaper came for me last night,
and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.
and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.
Talk about Dyson with death.
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