my mate found the whole lock down period quite stressful so he started doing that chinese thing with the needles, you know heroin
Jokes
- Thread starter ellandback
- Start date
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My Doctor prescribed me some Anti-Gloating cream .
I can't wait to rub it in !
I can't wait to rub it in !
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Stallone: I'm making a fictional documentary about composers. I'm playing Vivaldi, any preferences?
Van Damme: I'll be Mozart
Schwarzenegger: I'll be Bach
Van Damme: I'll be Mozart
Schwarzenegger: I'll be Bach
I'm sick of people complaining about this so called cost of living crisis. £2 for a Tea, £2.75 for a coffee, £2.50 for a slice of cake and £4 for car parking. Any more complaints and I will honestly stop inviting my friends around to my house.
Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius died in 1744 aged 43, although his rival Fahrenheit was convinced he was 109.
Been helping a group who help young people with hypertrichosis a condition of excessive body hair it's sometimes from birth fund raising is ongoing and donations can be made to --- shave the children
I recently joined a gun club and found I couldn't hit a thing until I checked the owner's manual and read the troubleshooting section
A ninety year old aboriginal elder sat in his humpy eyeing two
government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him.
One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90
years. You have seen his wars and his technological advances.
You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."
The elder nodded in agreement.
The official continued: "Considering all these events, in your
opinion, where did the whitefella go wrong?"
The elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute
and then he calmly replied:
"When whitefella found the land, blackfellas were running it.
No taxes,
No debt,
Plenty kangaroo,
Plenty fish,
Women did all the work,
Medicine man free,
Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing,
All night having sex."
Then the elder leaned back and smiled: "Only whitefella bloody stupid
enough to think he could improve a system like that."
government 'Welfare' officials sent to interview him.
One official said to him: "You have observed the white man for 90
years. You have seen his wars and his technological advances.
You have seen his progress and the damage he has done."
The elder nodded in agreement.
The official continued: "Considering all these events, in your
opinion, where did the whitefella go wrong?"
The elder stared at the two government officials for over a minute
and then he calmly replied:
"When whitefella found the land, blackfellas were running it.
No taxes,
No debt,
Plenty kangaroo,
Plenty fish,
Women did all the work,
Medicine man free,
Aboriginal man spent all day hunting and fishing,
All night having sex."
Then the elder leaned back and smiled: "Only whitefella bloody stupid
enough to think he could improve a system like that."
According to Kelvin he was absolutely sure he was 316
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"our computers went down at work today
... so we had to do everything manually.
It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire".
... so we had to do everything manually.
It took me 20 minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire".