Jokes

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OLOF said:
:emoticon-0100-smilesorry bud,
Thank **** it aint black pudding youve got in you mouth......:emoticon-0119-puke:

Btw, has black pudding been banned from the Great British breakfast yet?
Click to expand...
not when so many ladies use it as an health aid, they find it the best muscle stretcher they can find, and once satisfaction is achieved, they can also make a substantial meal, along with an oral aid for marital bliss
 
A Newcastle fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Mags shirt.

He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks Jesus in a Sunderland shirt.

"Hello son" says Jesus, "I'm sorry, no scum in heaven."

"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.

"You heard, no newcastle fans."

"But, but, but, I've been a good man", he replies.

"Oh really", says Jesus. "What have you done, then ?"

"Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa".

"Oh" says Jesus. "anything else?"

"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"

"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Dogs home."

"Okay", said Jesus, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."

Ten minutes pass before Jesus returns.

He looks the guy in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me.

Here's your £30 back, now **** off!!....
 
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