Jokes

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lifecheshirewhite said:
I will have you know, he has not taken the English silver.
We didn't offer him any, he slipped over the border, same as Afghan refugees, probably in the back of a truck, we just haven't managed to deport him back yet.
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Maybe those Immigration lorries Theresa May had could make a come back and go to Harrogate this time. Be good to see an illegal sent back to the hell that is his own country, with Sturgeon running amok there.
 
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2020VisionofLeeds said:
Maybe those Immigration lorries Theresa May had could make a come back and go to Harrogate this time. Be good to see an illegal sent back to the hell that is his own country, with Sturgeon running amok there.
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I think any Scot living in Harrogate would be delighted to get rescued. Who the hell would want to live in Harrogate? :huh:
 
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My mate works for the Royal Mail, and part of his job is to process all the mail that has illegible addresses. One day last week, a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting, to Father Christmas. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opened it and it read:

Dear Father Christmas,
I am a 93-year-old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100.00 in it, which was all the money I have until my next pension money. In a couple of Sunday's it is Christmas, and I have invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? I could really do with you delivering anything before Xmas Day.
Sincerely, Edna

My mate was touched so he showed the letter to all of the other workers. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96.00, which they put into an envelope and delivered in the post the next day to the woman. He told me all of the workers felt a warm glow for the kind thing they had done. Then a few days ago, another letter came from the old lady, to Father Christmas again. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read:

Dear Father Christmas,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you have done for me? Because of your gift of love, I am now able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. I'm sure we'll all have a very nice day and I've told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was £4 missing. I think it must have been those ****in' thieving bastards at the Royal Mail ...
Sincerely, Edna
 
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