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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1561
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1562
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
    FORZA LEEDS, Jammy 07, Whitejock and 1 other person like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    SHAKO GOT HIS PRACTICE IN AT AN EARLY AGE


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    #1563
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
    lifecheshirewhite and OLOF like this.
  4. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1564
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
  5. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1565
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few local business’s as a result of covid-19 .........

    A local submarine company has gone under......
    A dog kennels has had to call in the retrievers .......
    A strip club has gone tits up and ......
    A company supplying paper to origami enthusiasts has folded.
     
    #1566
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
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  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was talking to the bartender when he noticed an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, and a wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man.

    “That’s the Memory Man.” said the bartender. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.” So the man goes over, and thinking that he wouldn’t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?”

    “Liverpool,” replies the Memory Man.

    “Who did they beat?”

    “Leeds,” was the reply.

    “And the score?”

    “2-1.”

    “Who scored the winning goal?”

    “Ian St. John,” was the old man’s reply.

    The tourist was bowled over by this and told everyone back home in England about the Memory Man when he returned.

    A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar, and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian, just a bit older and more wrinkled.

    Because he was so impressed, the man decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue. He approached him with the greeting “How”.

    The Memory Man replied, “Diving header in the six yard box!!
     
    #1567
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1568
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
  9. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1569
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
  10. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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    I didn't know Gary Linekers missus was a hairdresser
     
    #1570
    OLOF, Nov 30, 2020
    2 pennth, FORZA LEEDS and Makemstine Roger like this.

  11. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1571
    Makemstine Roger, Nov 30, 2020
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  12. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    I've been dating a homeless woman recently.
    I think it's getting serious. She asked me to move out with her.
     
    #1572
    blonogasoven, Dec 1, 2020
    Makemstine Roger, OLOF, FORZA LEEDS and 1 other person like this.
  13. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    Jeez, Maken. I've just had my dinner.
     
    #1573
    brisbane-lion, Dec 1, 2020
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  14. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    man its just a bicycle stand or in your speak a camels toe
     
    #1574
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 1, 2020
  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1575
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 1, 2020
    Jammy 07, brisbane-lion, OLOF and 1 other person like this.
  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1576
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2020
    Jammy 07 likes this.
  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1577
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2020
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    My doctor said that I should put a bar in my shower to stop me falling over.
    Stupid b*stard! After four double rums I can't even find the f*cking soap!
     
    #1578
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2020
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    So disappointed that social distancing is being reduced to one metre. The wife will f*cking want to get in bed with me again now!
     
    #1579
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2020
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #1580
    Makemstine Roger, Dec 2, 2020
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