I took a girl out for a meal the other night, she ordered the most expensive meal on the menu, I thought you ****ing money grabbing greedy bitch and asked her does your mother feed you at home like this, she replied no, but my mum isn't expecting a blow job later, i thought good point and replied, enjoy your meal and would you like a dessert and a bottle of the best house wine..
If you want to know what it's like to be married, try making an audio tape of Loose Women. Then play it back at full volume and slightly faster whilst you try to watch the football.
