Went in greggs today I said how much are sausage rolls she said 2 for £1 I said how much for one she said 70p I said i'll have the other one
people laughed at me and said i would never be any good at poetry because of my dyslexia.....well a vase,a teapot and a garden gnome soon proved them wrong
This year Burns Night and Chinese New Year coincide. The scots have decided to amalgamate the two and call it Chinese Burns Night. I wasn't going to attend, but they twisted my arm.
I complained to my wife that her underwear was too tight and much too revealing. She told me if I didn't like to wear my own!!
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did. Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates." Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?" Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
