Convincing a dog that I really threw the ball is the closest I'll ever get to being a magician
Jokes
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I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
My mum always used to say to me and my 3 brothers; "If you throw enough ****, some of it will stick."
I used to say; "Mum, can we please just get a Playstation."
I used to say; "Mum, can we please just get a Playstation."
Man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The clerks called 9 1 1 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where
he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns
at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded
with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going
to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments,
asked the irritated nun?
He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly,
"Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect."
"Send the bill to my brother-in-law!!..
The clerks called 9 1 1 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where
he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns
at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.
A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board loaded
with several forms and a pen. She asked him how he was going
to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?" she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments,
asked the irritated nun?
He said, "I only have a spinster sister and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly,
"Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect."
"Send the bill to my brother-in-law!!..
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's bum was that eye staring right back at him.
"You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.
Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's bum was that eye staring right back at him.
"You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me.
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brisbane-lion
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The theatre royal are rushing out a covid production to be called....the taming of the flu
and this is a joke and not political satire and trying to stick the knife in because!!!!!!!!!!!!
i find Starmer a very rich ****, of a millionaire born with a silver spoon, pulling the wool over the eyes of Labour voters, but wouldn't dream of posting examples of his ****ty tactics on a jokes page. Saying that I've never seen you post anything nasty about Labour, Which leads me to believe its got **** all to do with jokes and everything to do with political points scoring. We already have a thread for politics lets not spoil this one, or is that your intention ?