Two blondes walk into a bar...
You would've thought one of them had seen it....
You would've thought one of them had seen it....
**** jokes thread
- Thread starter PINKIE
- Start date
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That was a summer without football thread if I ever saw one... Decent thread but wrong time of year
What do you call a computer that can sing ?
A Dell
A Dell
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm scizophrenic and so am I.
I threw my vacuum cleaner out of my home last week. It was just here gathering dust.
How do you know that the Spice Girls have been on the computer? There's Tipex on the screen.
What do you call a Muslim with a packet of bacon on his head?
Amhed
What do you call a Muslim with 2 packs of bacon on his head?
Mohammad
What do you call a Muslim with 2 packs of bacon on his head and a vibrator shoved up his arse?
Sheikh Mohammed
Amhed
What do you call a Muslim with 2 packs of bacon on his head?
Mohammad
What do you call a Muslim with 2 packs of bacon on his head and a vibrator shoved up his arse?
Sheikh Mohammed
French footballer playing games.
Thiery on Wii.
Thiery on Wii.
My cat swallowed a ball of wool
Two weeks later she had mittens
Two weeks later she had mittens
A year 9 class in Portsmouth...
Teacher: all of you should know that no matter what others shouldn't judge you including others here.
Pupil: well, my mums a heroin addict. My dad left when I was young, and I have to steal food to eat because my mum can't look after me, my step parent has abused me from a young age too...
Teacher: well that's not that bad, it's not ideal but it's life and you shouldn't be embarrassed by it... We're all different and we shouldn't judge people by their individual circumstances.
Pupil: I understand that miss but you haven't heard the worst part yet... I'm a Pompey fan because of my parent and they have made me support them all my life...
Teacher: bloody hell you poor bastard, why did you bring up being poor and being abused before mentioning that you were a Pompey fan?
Pupil: I was too embarrassed to mention that part miss.
Teacher: oh right, well I'm not surprised, ya dirty skate bastard!
Old joke which I've blatantly ****ed up because I'm drunk n added my own personal spin
Anyway... Up the ****ing Scum
Teacher: all of you should know that no matter what others shouldn't judge you including others here.
Pupil: well, my mums a heroin addict. My dad left when I was young, and I have to steal food to eat because my mum can't look after me, my step parent has abused me from a young age too...
Teacher: well that's not that bad, it's not ideal but it's life and you shouldn't be embarrassed by it... We're all different and we shouldn't judge people by their individual circumstances.
Pupil: I understand that miss but you haven't heard the worst part yet... I'm a Pompey fan because of my parent and they have made me support them all my life...
Teacher: bloody hell you poor bastard, why did you bring up being poor and being abused before mentioning that you were a Pompey fan?
Pupil: I was too embarrassed to mention that part miss.
Teacher: oh right, well I'm not surprised, ya dirty skate bastard!
Old joke which I've blatantly ****ed up because I'm drunk n added my own personal spin
Anyway... Up the ****ing Scum
What do you call a woman who can't draw ?
Tracey
Tracey
****ing modern Britain with all this social media bollocks.
In my day instagram was just a really efficenct drug dealer.
In my day instagram was just a really efficenct drug dealer.
If you see someone doing a crossword. Tell them 7 up is lemonade.