I went to the bookshop and asked the owner if she had any books about Turtles. 'Hardback ?' she asked. 'Yes they do' I replied.
What do you call a Muslim with a packet of bacon on his head? Amhed What do you call a Muslim with 2 packs of bacon on his head? Mohammad What do you call a Muslim with 2 packs of bacon on his head and a vibrator shoved up his arse? Sheikh Mohammed
A year 9 class in Portsmouth... Teacher: all of you should know that no matter what others shouldn't judge you including others here. Pupil: well, my mums a heroin addict. My dad left when I was young, and I have to steal food to eat because my mum can't look after me, my step parent has abused me from a young age too... Teacher: well that's not that bad, it's not ideal but it's life and you shouldn't be embarrassed by it... We're all different and we shouldn't judge people by their individual circumstances. Pupil: I understand that miss but you haven't heard the worst part yet... I'm a Pompey fan because of my parent and they have made me support them all my life... Teacher: bloody hell you poor bastard, why did you bring up being poor and being abused before mentioning that you were a Pompey fan? Pupil: I was too embarrassed to mention that part miss. Teacher: oh right, well I'm not surprised, ya dirty skate bastard! Old joke which I've blatantly ****ed up because I'm drunk n added my own personal spin Anyway... Up the ****ing Scum
****ing modern Britain with all this social media bollocks. In my day instagram was just a really efficenct drug dealer.
