So I said to the Librarian: "Do you have Great Expectations?"
She said: "I did, but ended up working in a library".
She said: "I did, but ended up working in a library".
Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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I asked my wife if she's coming to Boots with me for my hearing test.
"Yes, defo" she replied.
I hate when she calls me that!
"Yes, defo" she replied.
I hate when she calls me that!
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NEWSFLASH:
The Royal Family are said to be devastated after Prince Andrew's car crash next Wednesday.
The Royal Family are said to be devastated after Prince Andrew's car crash next Wednesday.
G.B. Olympic Curling Team..........
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A friend of mine just got a washing machine that’s WiFi enabled….
I told him not to let it on social media or it will air all his dirty laundry
I told him not to let it on social media or it will air all his dirty laundry
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Police have just found an abandoned car, with half a set of golf clubs in the trunk.
They are still looking for the driver.....
They are still looking for the driver.....
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A lady was having an affair.
One rainy day she was in bed with her BF when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway...
"OMG Hurry Grab your clothes and jump out the window"...
BF: "It's raining out there"...
Lady: "If my husband catches us, he'll kill us"...
BF jumps out of the window...
As he ran down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's marathon...
He started running alongwith the others, 300 of them...
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer...
One asked, "Do you always run in the nude"...?
He replied, "Oh yes It feels so wonderfully free"...
Another runner said, "Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm"...?
BF answered, "Oh, yes that way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home"...
3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run"...?
He replied "Only when it’s raining"........
One rainy day she was in bed with her BF when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway...
"OMG Hurry Grab your clothes and jump out the window"...
BF: "It's raining out there"...
Lady: "If my husband catches us, he'll kill us"...
BF jumps out of the window...
As he ran down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's marathon...
He started running alongwith the others, 300 of them...
After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer...
One asked, "Do you always run in the nude"...?
He replied, "Oh yes It feels so wonderfully free"...
Another runner said, "Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm"...?
BF answered, "Oh, yes that way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home"...
3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run"...?
He replied "Only when it’s raining"........
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My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
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