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Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Does anybody know what sort of tea they drink in Greece and Turkey?
Every time I offer to make my wife a coffee she says she'd rather have Aegean Tea.......
Every time I offer to make my wife a coffee she says she'd rather have Aegean Tea.......
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1. Coffee (n): the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj): appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation when drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj): impotent
6. Negligent (adj): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n): olive flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you’ve been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n): a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n): a formal dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n): the belief, that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck.
2. Flabbergasted (adj): appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation when drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj): impotent
6. Negligent (adj): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v): to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n): olive flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you’ve been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n): a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n): a formal dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n): a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n): a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n): the belief, that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck.
London protest halted as man loses contact lens mid-march
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Called the vets this morning …
Me: Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet ostrich .
Vet: Ok what’s the problem
Me: He’s holding his head to one side.
Vet: Hmm, maybe necks weak.
Me: Haven’t you got anything sooner.
Me: Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet ostrich .
Vet: Ok what’s the problem
Me: He’s holding his head to one side.
Vet: Hmm, maybe necks weak.
Me: Haven’t you got anything sooner.
Tea and sandwiches for former Prince Andrew......
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I went to doctors recently I said I can’t pronounce my F's, I can’t pronounce my T's, I can’t pronounce my H's
He said you can’t say fairer than that can you.....
He said you can’t say fairer than that can you.....
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Asked the council to fix the potholes…
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