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Off Topic Jokes thread
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I got 10 valentine cards today!
It took my breath away!
The security guard at Clinton’s can't half run!
It took my breath away!
The security guard at Clinton’s can't half run!
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Ever since I drew a wristwatch on my arm with a ballpoint pen, I've been living on biroed time.
I Had to go to the Doctors yesterday and having stripped off he immediately mentioned the fact that my genitalia was perfectly shaped like a saxophone...
I explained that it was a family trait and that we all had genitalia shaped like musical instruments.
He was amazed and said, “Well, in 27 years as a GP I’ve never seen anything like it, Having said that I do remember a woman coming in a few years ago and her fanny was shaped like a Mouth Organ”.
I said, “That’ll be Our Monica”.
I explained that it was a family trait and that we all had genitalia shaped like musical instruments.
He was amazed and said, “Well, in 27 years as a GP I’ve never seen anything like it, Having said that I do remember a woman coming in a few years ago and her fanny was shaped like a Mouth Organ”.
I said, “That’ll be Our Monica”.
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April Fools Day is cancelled this year.
Because no prank is greater than the joke that is running this country right now..............
Because no prank is greater than the joke that is running this country right now..............
The funeral for the man that invented Tupperware, was delayed while they tried to find the right lid for his coffin.
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On our wedding anniversary my wife whispered in my ear
"Do you want super sex?"
I thought soup was the safest option......
"Do you want super sex?"
I thought soup was the safest option......
Wife " Hey what we doing for Valentines?"
Husband " Well, you know how you love Paris "
Wife " OMG, your not serious?"
Husband " And you know how you adore Barcelona? "
Wife " You are the best husband ever I love you so much "
Husband " Yep, its PSG v Barcelona and we're watching it down the pub"
Husband " Well, you know how you love Paris "
Wife " OMG, your not serious?"
Husband " And you know how you adore Barcelona? "
Wife " You are the best husband ever I love you so much "
Husband " Yep, its PSG v Barcelona and we're watching it down the pub"
For Valentines Day I bought my wife a matching belt and bag.
She’ll soon have that hoover working again....
She’ll soon have that hoover working again....
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.......well, it is a joke page !!!
Spare a thought for Keir Starmer on Valentines day.
He's got to buy presents for his wife, Lord Ali & 5 rent boys.......
He's got to buy presents for his wife, Lord Ali & 5 rent boys.......
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