Off Topic Jokes thread
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Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on ‘washing machine’.
Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.”
Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a headache.”
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.”
Husband replies, “Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”
Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.”
Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a headache.”
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.”
Husband replies, “Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”
I’ve just received a notification that, due to budget cuts, my local pantomime can only afford 6 Dwarfs for their production of “Snow White”.
No-one’s Happy.
No-one’s Happy.
At this time of year I love sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine and listening to Christmas songs until I fall asleep.
Probably why I lost my job as a firefighter.
Probably why I lost my job as a firefighter.
Any editing experts who can help remove the elbow that ruins photo
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My grandad was a dyslexic baker during WW2.
He used to go in all buns glazing.
He used to go in all buns glazing.
I was on my way home from a Xmas party and got pulled over by the police, the copper said..”you been drinking?”
“Yes officer!” How much have you consumed?” I said..”ten or eleven pints of lager, seven or eight shorts and several glasses of wine!”
He looked at me sternly and said…“that’s a lot of alcohol you’ve consumed tonight but it’s still not a valid reason for letting your wife drive!”
“Yes officer!” How much have you consumed?” I said..”ten or eleven pints of lager, seven or eight shorts and several glasses of wine!”
He looked at me sternly and said…“that’s a lot of alcohol you’ve consumed tonight but it’s still not a valid reason for letting your wife drive!”
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