Husband and wife decide to make a password for sex, they decide on ‘washing machine’. Later in bed that night husband says, “Washing machine.” Wife replies, “Not tonight darling I have a headache.” Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, “Washing machine.” Husband replies, “Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.”
I’ve just received a notification that, due to budget cuts, my local pantomime can only afford 6 Dwarfs for their production of “Snow White”. No-one’s Happy.
At this time of year I love sitting in front of a roaring fire, sipping mulled wine and listening to Christmas songs until I fall asleep. Probably why I lost my job as a firefighter.
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I was on my way home from a Xmas party and got pulled over by the police, the copper said..”you been drinking?” “Yes officer!” How much have you consumed?” I said..”ten or eleven pints of lager, seven or eight shorts and several glasses of wine!” He looked at me sternly and said…“that’s a lot of alcohol you’ve consumed tonight but it’s still not a valid reason for letting your wife drive!”
