Off Topic Jokes thread

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We've been having trouble with one of our lodgers.

It started with small things going missing, but the latest thing that was the final straw, he put glue on my antigue arms collection.

He denied it off course but I'm sticking to my guns........
 
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An Irishmen wanting to become a Priest went to see the Bishop who said "You must answer 3 questions on the Bible".

"1st - Who was born in a stable?"

"Shergar" he replied

"2nd - What do you think of Damascus ?"

"It kills 99% of all germs" he replied.

"3rd - What happened when the disciples went to Mount Olive ?"

"That’s easy" he said "Popeye kicked the crap out of them!!"
 
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