Off Topic Jokes thread

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An Irishman and his son went to the zoo. A sign says, "Feed the elephant a bun to get your age"

Little boy gives the elephant a bun and it stamps it's foot 6 times. "Wow" says the boy, "That's right I am 6, you have a go dad"

The Irish chap gives the elephant a bun.... A moment later the elephant farts and stamps twice... "By eck that's right, I am farty two!"
 
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A lad was hunting when a gust of wind blew his rifle over and discharged, shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news & some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be okay . . . . the damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."

"What's the bad news ?" asked the hunter.

"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your willy that left quite a few holes in it, so I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."

"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?"

"No . . . .she's a flautist with the London Symphony Orchestra, and she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so that you don't pee in your eye."
 
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