Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
- Start date
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Due to start my new job in France as a guillotine operator shortly.
Beheading there soon........
Beheading there soon........
My wife is always trying to put me down…
But that's just one of the hazards of being married to a vet.
But that's just one of the hazards of being married to a vet.
Mick and Paddy are on a cruise.
Paddy says "It's awfully quiet on deck tonight".
Mick replied "Everyone will be watching the band"
Paddy says "There isn't a band playing tonight".
Mick replied "I definitely heard someone say 'A band on ship' ".........
Paddy says "It's awfully quiet on deck tonight".
Mick replied "Everyone will be watching the band"
Paddy says "There isn't a band playing tonight".
Mick replied "I definitely heard someone say 'A band on ship' ".........
A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees:
"I don't want to know." The child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asks. “What's wrong?”
"Oh, dad." The boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the "There's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the "There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the "There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that adults don't really f**k, I'll have nothing left to live for."
"I don't want to know." The child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asks. “What's wrong?”
"Oh, dad." The boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the "There's no Santa' speech. At seven, I got the "There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the "There's no tooth fairy' speech. If you're going to tell me that adults don't really f**k, I'll have nothing left to live for."