Off Topic Jokes thread
- Thread starter devonFRATTONiser
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Why are the toilets in every Wetherspoon pub up 50 flights of stairs, across 2 continents, down a mountain and through a door to Narnia?
You’ve almost wet yourself by the time you get there.......
You’ve almost wet yourself by the time you get there.......
A man is driving on dark country road late at night when he gets a flat tire.
He takes his flashlight, opens the trunk of the car, takes out the spare, jacks up the car and removes the flat tire. Unfortunately, he put the removed nuts on an embankment that he didn't see, and they all roll into the ditch and out of sight.
Grumbling, he starts walking along the road hoping to find a house whose phone he could use to call for help.
Finally, he sees what looks like a large mansion with lights on in several rooms. As he approaches the front door, he notices a sign that reads, "STATE ASYLUM FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE."
"Not ideal," he thinks to himself, "but certainly the patients here are well guarded. Besides, what choice do I have?"
So he rings the doorbell, and is greeted by a middle-aged man in a white coat. He explains to him the problem, how his tire was flat and how he lost the nuts that would be used to install the spare. He asked if he could use the phone to call a tow truck.
The man replies, "I'd gladly let you use the phone, but in these parts you won't get a tow truck until morning at the earliest. Why don't you take one nut from each of the other three tires and use them to install the spare? That will surely hold you until you can bring the car to the repair shop."
"Wow! What a great idea! No wonder you're a doctor!"
"Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm a patient here."
"What! But your idea, it was so intelligent!"
"Well sure. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid."
He takes his flashlight, opens the trunk of the car, takes out the spare, jacks up the car and removes the flat tire. Unfortunately, he put the removed nuts on an embankment that he didn't see, and they all roll into the ditch and out of sight.
Grumbling, he starts walking along the road hoping to find a house whose phone he could use to call for help.
Finally, he sees what looks like a large mansion with lights on in several rooms. As he approaches the front door, he notices a sign that reads, "STATE ASYLUM FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE."
"Not ideal," he thinks to himself, "but certainly the patients here are well guarded. Besides, what choice do I have?"
So he rings the doorbell, and is greeted by a middle-aged man in a white coat. He explains to him the problem, how his tire was flat and how he lost the nuts that would be used to install the spare. He asked if he could use the phone to call a tow truck.
The man replies, "I'd gladly let you use the phone, but in these parts you won't get a tow truck until morning at the earliest. Why don't you take one nut from each of the other three tires and use them to install the spare? That will surely hold you until you can bring the car to the repair shop."
"Wow! What a great idea! No wonder you're a doctor!"
"Oh, I'm not a doctor. I'm a patient here."
"What! But your idea, it was so intelligent!"
"Well sure. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid."